The Fall (Camren)

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Lauren was staring. She knew she was, there was absolutely no subtlety in it. Yet she couldn’t help it. After what happened on the roof with Camila things had changed between them, she couldn’t explain it precisely or categorise it in any way but there was electricity in the air between them. Lauren had a distinct feeling she was on the precipice of something, it was unnerving yet utterly captivating.

She watched from the side of the stage as Camila did her sound check. Currently the Cuban girl was attempting a heart wrenching rendition of ‘Mic Check, 1, 2.’

The sound guy was finding it particularly funny; Lauren could hear his laughter over Camila’s faux ballad. Lauren didn’t look at him though, her eyes were glued to Camila but what fascinated her most was that Camila knew, she knew Lauren was staring at her, she would have to be blind not to and yet she hadn’t questioned Lauren, looked at her strangely, stared back. Nope, she just made eye contact every now and then, looked bashful occasionally but ultimately ignored it. Lauren was intrigued.

She kept watching as Camila started singing an actual song, Lauren’s eyes never drifted, like she could discover all the answers from last night if she just looked hard enough.

Her creepy staring was (thankfully) disrupted by the sound of her phone ringing, she dragged her eyes away to see Brad’s name on her phone screen.

‘Finally!’ She spoke into the cell phone, foregoing a polite answer.

‘Hello to you to.’ Brad replied sarcastically.

Lauren was struggling to hear him over Camila’s singing so she moved further backstage and sat down on a worn leather couch.

‘I asked you to call me like twelve hours ago.’

‘You’re not the only one in a band y’know; I’m pretty busy at the moment.’

She rolled her eyes at his response, even though he couldn’t see her. ‘Yeah, busy sucking.’

‘Piss off!’ Brad said through a laugh.

Lauren smirked at his response which was wiped off suddenly as Dinah walked passed her giving her a wink before heading on stage. She was going to have to talk to the Polynesian girl soon, she obviously knew something. Good thing she wasn’t privy to the intense staring going on earlier.

‘So what’s this emergency you’re having? Did you break a nail or lose a shoe or something?’

‘I’m going to ignore your blatant sexism for the moment, it’s actually about…Camila.’ She whispered the last part as two crew members walked passed her from the stage.

‘Did you tell her how you feel?’

‘You know I can’t do that.’

‘Remind me why again?’ He asked.

‘Because.’ She answered, lamely.

‘Wow, a very compelling argument you’ve got there.’

‘Shut it Bradley. I didn’t tell her anything but she may have figured it out anyway.’

‘What do you mean?’ He asked, she barely heard him over the sound of a loud speaker from his end.

‘She told me to stop pretending, to stop lying to her.’ Lauren answered.

‘Just in general? Do you lie a lot? I’m confused.’

‘No…look, it was in context. She knows, Brad.’ Lauren sighed, pulling her legs up to her chest and leaning her head on her knees. ‘Something happened…’

She didn’t say anything for a long moment, just breathed deeply and picked at a whole in the leather. Lauren had told Brad about her feelings a while back; he took it rather well considering they had been making out at the time. She cried and he held her and promised it was okay. They became good friends after that.

To the press and some fans it looked as though they might be dating, they never confirmed nor denied a relationship largely due to the fact that management thought the idea of them dating would bring more fans, more enterprise and ultimately more money. She didn’t like the idea of lying to the fans, and technically she hadn’t, but it made a good cover for her feelings for Camila.

‘Are you trying to tell me what happened telepathically? Because it isn’t working.’

Lauren laughed then proceeded to reveal the story of what happened on the bus roof, he listened patiently and for that she was grateful. He wasn’t lying when he said he was busy, spare time was a commodity in their industry.

‘What do I do, Brad?’ She asked, the lethargy she felt seeping into her words.

‘I guess you do what she asked, stop lying. Stop pretending Lauren, you need to be brave.’

‘I’m scared.’ She admitted. She was, she was terrified in fact. She was scared of rejection and even more so she was scared of Camila feeling the same way. Rejection she was prepared for but reciprocation she was not.

‘The bravest people are the most scared. Being brave is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.’

He was right and she knew it. Goddamn poetic British bastard, he even talked in song lyrics.

‘Look I’ve got to go Lauren, I’m sorry but they’re calling my flight.’ Brad said. ‘Keep me updated okay?’

‘I will, thanks dude.’ They said their goodbyes and hung up. She had just breathed a sigh of relief, feeling better about things for the first time in days, when Dinah plopped herself down on the couch next to her.

‘Got time to talk Girl?’

‘Not really,’ Lauren stood up, ‘I think I’m next for sound check.’

Dinah pulled her back on the sofa by her t-shirt.

‘They can wait five more minutes,’

Lauren looked dejectedly at her friend. ‘Okay, go on.’

‘I’m not gonna lecture you Lo, chill okay.’ She smiled at Lauren. ‘I don’t know what’s going on between you and Camila, bu-‘

‘Nothing!’ Lauren cut her off. ‘Nothing’s going on.’

Dinah ignored the interruption. ‘But I think it’s great. Hashtag Camren, just be careful okay? ‘She said, rather loudly.

Lauren shushed the other girl quickly, looking around hurriedly.

‘Really Dinah, nothing’s going on between Camila and I. ‘She whispered.

‘But you want it to be, right?’

Lauren face said it all in that moment; she looked down suddenly feeling ashamed of her feelings.

‘You’re not as subtle as you think you are Babes.’ Dinah nudged her jokingly; Lauren wasn’t finding the humour in the situation.

‘Does everyone know?’ Asked Lauren.

‘No, but that’s just cus they’re all oblivious.’ Dinah rolled her eyes. ‘Look, all I ask is that you keep me updated okay? And you can talk to me y’know, I’m your amigo.’

‘I know Dinah; I’m just trying to figure this all out in my head first.’ Lauren stood up from the couch, ruffling a hand through her brunette locks. ‘Has Camila said anything to you?’

‘She’s been uncharacteristically quiet recently, which is how I know she’s hiding something. Also, she’s about as subtle as you are. Have you spoken to her?’

Lauren shook her head. ‘Not properly.’

‘Well you should, and then come straight to me and tell me everything.’ The Polynesian smirked.

Dinah stood up too and gave Lauren a huge hug before forcefully turning her around and pushing her towards the stage. Dinah and Brad were right, it was time she faced this head on.

Lauren made the decision, as soon as she got the chance she would talk to Camila, and she would be brave.