The Wings Of A Caged Bird | First Draft

chapter 24: the joy of honey

As I'm making my way back to my room after talking with Edgar, I hear a small sound come from one of the rooms nearby.

When I glance at the source, I find it to be the room where Tiara and Aris sleep. From the small gap between the door, I see Tiara walking inside from left to right. I was about to dismiss it when I notice her walk back from right to left. I wait for a few seconds more, and realize she is pacing back and forth in the room.

Maybe I should go ask if there's something bothering her. So I approach the door to knock, but when I get closer, I hear murmurs.

I realize that she is murmuring to herself while walking around the room. In the dim glow of the lampshade beside her bed, I notice her face illuminated in a smile, as she laughs occasionally and grins the other times. She moves her hands  like how we do when talking with someone, as if engaged in a conversation with someone invisible. She shakes her head, shrugs her shoulders, scrunches her nose, does everything. A movie is playing inside her head, probably one she created herself.

Rather than surprise, I feel something along the lines of sadness. Is this how normal daydreaming is supposed to be?

"I think she might have the Maladaptive Daydreaming disorder."

I turn around to find July standing a few steps away, eyes inside the room.

"That's a thing?" I ask in a low whisper.

He nods. "It's not officially recognized as a psychiatric disease, but it's a thing. There have been serious patients all over the world. No one knows why it happens or how. There's no cure for it or anything. Maybe it can be brought under control with some mind training." 

"Wow." I look back at her, still walking . But this time, the smile has disappeared from her face, replaced by a scowl. "I thought she might have ADD. But it really is worse than a mere attention deficit."

"Mhm." He comes and stands beside me, still a few steps away. Even in this darkness, with the only light being from the lamp outside in the veranda, July takes no risks when it comes to closing the physical distance between us. "It will trouble her so much as she grows up. It might get worse too. She will get stuck at every corner."

"So should she seek treatment as soon as possible?"

"As I said, there's no treatment. And a lot of psychiatrists can't even diagnose it. But yeah, taking her to one regardless might be a good idea. But it doesn't seem like her parents are really aware of this."

"Hmm . . ." First vitiligo, and now this. Both things are totally out of her control, and both things don't have any treatment. It's like the world keeps handing me more reasons to be sad today, both for myself and those around me. I think I'm only an inch away from getting crushed under all this weight.

"Go to sleep, Cedar. It's getting late," July says.

I nod. "But where are you going?"

"Ah." He hesitates a bit before saying, "Since everyone is asleep, I'm gonna go take a . . .bath." He points towards the bathroom, which is right beside the kitchen. The room I'm staying in— sister Flora's room—doesn't have an attached bathroom, so this is the one I have to use.

I nod again. "Want me to stay inside in case someone walks in?"

He shakes his head. "No need. All the other rooms have an attached bathroom." With that, he begins to walk over to the bathroom door. On the way, I see him slightly sway, as if his legs feel unstable. My hands raise instinctively, but he's already steadied himself. This is yet another reminder that July doesn't need me, or anyone else, to walk straight. He silently opens the door, and slips inside.