The Wings Of A Caged Bird | First Draft

side-stories | july; august

A/N: Huge thanks to TacitusKadari
for helping me make an important choice with this chapter. I really owe you ❤️.

P.S. Wouldn't recommend reading this chapter in Monospace font.

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J U L Y
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July tries to stop Cedar from reading Dawn's final message, but Cedar is in no state of listening.

Eyes widened to their limits, Cedar clicks on the unread message with a shaky hand. July notices that there are about seven gray chat bubbles in total, some of them being paragraphs. Cedar's eyes move over the words in the speed of a habitual reader, and he takes everything in too quickly, too rapidly for it to dawn in on him in a speed that doesn't crush his soul. And after he is done, he blinks several times, eyes glued to the screen with a look of intense shock. Then he gently puts the phone down, hugs his knees, and starts to shake.

"Cedar, Cedar, listen to me," July pleads, grabbing his arm. But Cedar pulls it away, looking around restlessly, as if trying to make a sense of the world around him, as if he doesn't have any clue about what is going on.

Before the screen turns black, July takes one look at it and reads the messages as quickly as he can.

Saturday, November 17 • 01:03

Texting with Dawn (SMS/MMS)

Cedar, I know you're probably
asleep. but if you see this will
you please come to my room?
I have something to tell you

You were right. There IS
something i'm hiding from
you. have been hiding it for
a long time now. But I'm getting
bad thoughts and I want to see
you right now. I think if you're
here everything will be okay
and I can finally think properly.
I want to tell you everything. I
regret not telling you before. I
made so many mistakes.

please come quickly

Saturday, November 17 • 02:27

Cedar, I'm so sorry. I can't
unsend the messages here.
But I've thought it all through
and I don't think there's any
point of anyyhing anymore.
It's too late. I didn't realize
how late it is. Even my family
is sick of me. If you came here
you would stop me but its no
use because I'm hurting
everyone. I can't keep doing
this

Cedar, I love you so much. I
hope you always remember
that. Perhaps I have even
loved you in a way I shouldn't
have, but these things are out
of my control. There is no one
I have ever loved more than
you. I hope you will forgive me
for being selfish and taking all
the worst deicisins and I hope
you will understand why I did
what I did.

Ive finished reading your
favourite book. I'll hold it to
my heart andnthink that im
holding you. Thank you for
loving me. If there is another
life, I will see you and love
you again.

Goodbye, my Cedar.

The messages disappear. July feels the tiniest fraction of Cedar's pure devastation as he blinks at the black screen reflecting the window, and tears flood his eyes. Cedar was Dawn's last hope, his last attempt at trying to live a little longer. But the hope died in under one and a half hour, during which Dawn must have lulled over every possible outcome of every possible crossroad he could take from thereon, only to find that every path led to the same inevitable destination. Perhaps, if Cedar had seen the message and rushed off to the Ambers' right after, things may have turned out differently. Or at least, that's how Cedar would self-interpret it. And that interpretation, currently, is destroying him to his core.