Forever

17. Break Down

BECA

Chloe's family was hosting a 'Welcome Spring' party. Apparently, it was a family tradition. Meaning all of Chloe's extended family would be there. As if I wasn't already anxious. The party was the next day but we were spending the day setting up and doing prep. I squeezed into my leggings and put on my shirt. It was too tight. I pulled a different shirt out of the bag and put it on. It also didn't fit. I went through all of my shirts. Nothing fit. I ended up on the floor of the bedroom crying. I was tired of not knowing things until it was too late. I just wished I had someone to walk me through this. I wished my mom was here. I wished she would walk into the room, pick me up off the floor, wrap me in her arms and tell me everything would be ok. That just made me cry harder. Chloe came into the room.

"Hey Beca, Mom was- Beca?"

I just continued to cry. She came and sat next to me.

"What's wrong?"

Through sobs, I said, "Nothing fits."

"Oh. Baby, it's okay." She wrapped an arm around me.

I just cried harder. "I don't know what to do."

"First, I need you to take a deep breath okay? Can you do that for me?" Chloe asked.

I just nodded and took a shaky breath. It paused my crying for a brief moment. I ended up just crying even harder. I cried so hard I made myself nauseous. Chloe seemed to notice and grabbed the trashcan in the room. My crying turned into throwing up pretty quickly. Chloe just rubbed my back.

"I just wish I had my mom."

"I know baby. I know."

CHLOE

While Beca was crying and throwing up, I texted my mom.

Me: Beca needs some mom love right now. Can you come to the room?

Mom: Of course. I'll be right there.

Me: Thank you.

My mom came into the room a minute later. She took one look at us, one look at all the shirts on the floor. She came and sat on the other side of Beca. She put a hand on her shoulder.

"What's wrong sweetheart?"

"Beca sniffed, her voice breaking, "I just wish my mom was here." She continued to sob.

"I know. She would have loved to be here. She would do a much better job at cheering you up than me. But, let me tell you this. She would be so proud of you. So let's get up off the floor, steal one of my husband's shirts, and we can all go to the store and get you something to wear."

Beca nodded. She took a second to pull herself together before stating, "I might need help getting off the floor. I didn't think that far ahead."

Mom and I smiled and got up. Both of us grabbing one of Beca's arms to hoist her up.

"I'll go get you a shirt." Mom turned to leave.

"Amy?" Beca said.

My mom turned back around. "Yes, Beca?"

Beca grabbed her and gave her a big hug. "Thank you."

Mom smiled. "Anytime kiddo. I'll be right back with a shirt for you."

BECA

Amy came back with one of Ron's t-shirts for me to wear. We loaded into Amy's minivan and headed to the store. Amy sent Chloe with the list of stuff to get for the party on the other side of the store. Amy led me to the maternity clothes.

"I think firstly, we should find you some nice pants."

"I mean sure, I wear like, exclusively skinny jeans."

"I'm sure we can find some." Amy started going through racks of clothes, grabbing things she thought would fit and that I would like. She handed me some and told me to go get a dressing room to start trying things on.

Once in the dressing room, I immediately tried on some of the pants Amy handed me. THey were skinny jeans with a little extra fabric so I still had the fit that I loved but the comfort I was looking for. I started trying on the shirts she had picked out. I quickly learned that everything was flowy.

"So, what do you think?" Amy called.

"The pants are fantastic. The tops are... flowy."

Amy laughed. "I figured most would be a miss. I do have some basics here for you. Tank tops and t-shirts. Just put a blazer or a flannel on over it to dress them up. Do you need any special occasion pieces?"

"I don't think so. I don't really wear dresses so."

"Alright. Did we at least find enough to get you through this trip?"

I smiled. "Yes. I think we did. Thanks, mom." As soon as I said it, I covered my mouth. "Sorry. I uh-"

"It's alright Beca. I'm as much your mom as I am Chloe's."