Lost But With A Soul

Day 1

The cool empty sheets laid shriveled up in the bed. Usually they would cover Ricky's sleeping body, but not today.
I replaced my damp towel with looser fitting skinny jeans and a sweatshirt. Then made the bed, and picked up the room. I took out a load of laundry and folded it putting everything away.

I finally walked into the kitchen where he sat his empty plate in the sink. Not even raising his head slightly to acknowledge my presence. I pulled out a bowl and filled it with Apple slices and put all of the dirty dishes from his breakfast in the dish washer.

"I'm going to help Josh out at his house." He called before exiting through the door. I dialed Ryan and put it on speaker before setting my phone back down. "hey" I greeted "hi" her cold unenthusiastic reply. "Ryan don't be mad please." " we're just trying to help you but you won't even listen to what we have to say." "yes, because all of you tricking me into that so I could get pitied and manipulated into trying to fix some imaginary problem." I explained harshly cleaning the counter.

"Yes it was tricky but you're one of my best friends and we're all just worried. Especially Ricky." she sounded genuinely concerned. "well he can't care too much if he ended things." " what?" You could hear the shock in her voice. "he told me that I think drinking a more important than him and unless I completely stop then I need to be moved out by the end of the week." I threw the wad of paper towels in the trash.

"What happened last night? He said he was going to go home and try to talk to you about it or maybe an alternate solution." " he snatched a bottle from me after yelling so I freaked out and hit him." I confessed leaning against the counter running my painted fingernails through my hair. "Like pat on the shoulder or did you actually hit him." "an actual hit. That I already feel extremely bad about." "Jesus Sage if you're willing to hit him doesn't that fucking show that you have a problem." she yelled.

" I never should have touched him."
"Did you know he's over here?" "Yeah he told me." "So you two have talked since then?" She questioned anxiously. "no he told me before he left. it's literally the only things he's said to me." "you've gotta fix it and you already know how. if you say you don't have a problem then this won't be hard but that's all I can tell you." she sighed. "I'm sorry about last night" "it's fine, just text me." "Okay, bye." I hung up and laid on the couch.

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Through the blurs I could tell exactly who walked through the front door. I herd his keys hit the countertop and the fridge open. I sat still, hearing the crunch of what looked like carrot sticks probably with hummus. "Hi."I greeted pushing the apartment empty bottle of strawberry moonshine behind a pillow. He walked past into the bedroom where I herd the sound of the hockey game.

About half an hour later he walked back through setting a plate in the sink. I still hadn't moved. "are you okay?" He asked stepping closer to me. I nodded but it just made me nauseous. "are you gonna be sick?" He blank expression blurred even more as I shook head again. he came back just in time with a plastic bin. "Well I guess I'll start packing your things. It hasn't even been a day, you won't make it a week."
He walked towards the bedroom.

"No that's not fair." I slurred struggling to stand up. "God how drunk are you?" He asked annoyed "drunk enough to put up with all of this shit you've been pulling." " I can't even understand you." I stumbled away from the couch falling on the floor. "Jesus Christ you can't even walk, and you still can't admit you have a problem."

He grabbed my hand pulling me up until he could lift me. walking in and setting me in bed. "Ricky stay." "No why doesn't Matt stay with you since you love him so much." he spat slamming the door. I grabbed his hoodie from the floor and slid it over a pillow holding it close to me through the night.