Lost But With A Soul

The Grand Finale

"Wake up hun." I felt Ricky rubbing my arm and turned towards him. "It's three in the afternoon, are you not feeling well?" He asked. "I was just pretty exhausted yesterday.But I'm fine." I assured him. "Okay, we have a few hours until we have to be at the venue. So you should get ready and well grab lunch before." he explained. I nodded and stood up.

I drug my self into the bathroom and turned the shower on sitting on the floor. The hot water flowed through my hair and into the drain. I pulled down the shampoo and condition and coated my hair in each before rinsing. Standing up only to wash myself off and exit the shower.

After wrapping my hair up I walked to the dresser and slid on a matching pair of underwear and bra. A shorter Wednesday Adams type dress seemed to suit the occasion. I pulled on knee high socks and my clunky ankle heels. "baby girl!" I herd echo. "yeah Rick!" I yelled back. "could you bring me a pair of no show socks?" He requested. "yeah one second." I replied.

I dug through the drawer and found a pair walking them down stairs. "thanks love." I ran back to the bathroom to put my face on before he had to see the pale eyebrow less creature before him.
At some point he wandered back to the bedroom and watched Tv as I finished up.

"Okay, an hour and a half before the show. Burgers?" He asked. "yeah Five Guys sounds good." I told him fixing my hair. "Okay let's go." he grabbed the keys and slid on his vans before heading to the door. I followed him out and sat comfortably in the passenger seat. I plugged my phone in and turned on a little Joy Division.
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"I mean it sucks, but I love him so." I explained to Alex. "Well that's why I don't really date, it's hard when we're always touring.But I mean hooking up is pretty fun." He nudged me with his elbow. "Koehler you're such an ass." I laughed taking a sip of my third beer.

"Speaking of, where is your man?" He questioned. "Somewhere around here, I'm going to go out for a smoke." I told him pulling a cigarette from the pack and placing it between my lips. "I'm gonna join you." we walked through to the back and I lit the end as soon as I opened the door.

Standing against the wall I took it from my lips and took a drink. Alex and Nick stood in front of me and the door harshly closed. "I hate Pennsylvania ." Alex commented "go back to Utah then " I laughed. "oh I can't wait." he chuckled. "Sage!" I herd the familiar voice yell and threw the cigarette to the ground and held the cup behind my back.

"Um hey babe" I smiled. "I don't care that you're at a show? I'm not gonna let you harm my kid with ciggerette and alcohol ." He stood in front of my clearly pissed off. "What are you talking about?" I asked taken back. "I'm kinda mad you haven't told me yet. But the morning sickness, pregnancy tests, gaining weight it's wasn't hard to figure it out." his words flowed from his mouth.

"Rick I promise you I'm not pregnant, I gained what 10 pounds so I'm at a healthy weight. I take test every so often to make sure I'm not pregnant." I cleared up. "Well what about you being sick every morning?" His face was starting to turn red. "I can't keep it a secret from you anymore. I never stopped drinking I just don't let you see me drinking or drunk. Why I sleep in and don't feel well in the mornings." I admitted.

"So you just lied to stay with me?" "Yes because I love you but I'm not gonna stop." I told him. " Well, I can't love a liar." he said softly. "What?" I felt my self shaking fearing the next words. "I'm done. I'm so done with you. You've had enough chances. I'm leaving next week you can get your shit then." he opened the door but I grabbed his arm.

"Don't fucking touch me you lying manipulate bitch.I hate you. Stay the hell away from me, I never wanna see your disgusting face again. And if I do I'll get a restraining order." Rick spat at me ripping his arm from my grip and slamming the door.

I collapsed on the concrete ground skinning my knees. My heart was ripped from my chest. Not knowing what not do but sob. Within seconds I could feel my hands soaked. I felt a hand on my back but nothing could make me feel less empty. "I'll go grab you're bag and I take you home." Nick said softly.

"My home is anywhere that asshole is, just let me die in this ally like the worthless piece of trash I am." I cried loudly. I felt someone try to help me up and I fought back until he just threw me over his shoulder. After hearing the door open I struggled to get down but a pair of strong arm held me. Being carried around for a few minutes I was still at a full on sob.

"Sage what's wrong?" I herd Ryan's friendly voice questioned. I couldn't answer her, even if I wanted to my throat felt like it was being crushed. "She's going through something right now." I herd Alex comment. I felt the breeze of wind on my legs and was soon laid in the backseat of a car.

"My numbers in your phone, call or text me whenever you can." Alex brushed my hair down and kissed my forehead making me even more hysterical. "Let's get you a hot shower and into bed." Nick patted my arm before starting the car.