Sophie walker [Book 1] ✔️

Thirty-four

Sophie pov

Everything stopped when I heard those words. Grandma was dead. The doctor came out. 

"I'm so sorry we did everything we could, we don't know what happened yet but she's gone." He said.

"Thank you." Dad said.  The doctor nodded and went away. 

Emily was crying. I couldn't cry it's like the tears just stopped. 

We went in and grandma was lying there lifeless. 

"Hey can you give us a sec?" Dad said to the nurse. He nodded and went out. 

Dad held her hand and started to cry. 

"I love you mom, thank you for everything." 

Emily stepped up to her. 

"Thank you mom for everything, for being there, I love you." 

I couldn't go to her, I couldn't say goodbye. 

"Soph? you're okay, just say goodbye okay?" Dad said. 

"Goodbye grandma, I love you so much." I said, as plainly as I could. I wasn't feeling anything all of a sudden, just numbness. 

"I'll call the nurse." Emily said and called him. 

He came in, apologized and they covered her with white sheets. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe, I felt as if someone was choking me. 

"I need to go out." I ran out and into the garden. I sat on a bench and the tears just started flowing. She was dead, she was never going to come back. She was fucking gone so soon. I couldn't even say goodbye to her. A few minutes later, dad came there and sat with me. I sat closer to him. He was crying as well. 

"Are you okay?" 

"I don't know dad I just feel numb. You?" 

"I don't know too but we'll get through this together." 

"I love you dad." 

"I love you too."  

We just sat there in silence then Duke came and joined us and sat there. 

"You're both gonna be okay you know and i'm here for anything." 

"Thank you Duke." Both of us said. 

"I'm gonna join you both later." We both nodded. He left. 

"You want to go home?" 

"Let's just sit here for a while."

"Alright."  

There was nothing on my mind, I couldn't think about anything I didn't know what to think about. 

"Let's go home." I said. 

"Okay." 

"Where's Emily?" 

"She went home, said she needed to be alone."  I nodded. We went to the car and he drove home in silence. 

"You need anything?" He asked. 

"Not really." 

Both of us went into our rooms. I heard crying sounds from his room. He pretended to be okay for me when he had just lost his mom.  I didn't really know what to feel, what to do or to cry be happy that she wasn't in pain anymore. 

I heard kicking around his room, and loud cries. I couldn't even imagine him that way. I didn't want to disturb him. 

"Soph?" It was dad. I didn't realize when he came in.  My hand started suddenly shaking and I couldn't breathe all of a sudden. I started crying.

"You're okay breathe for me it's alright." 

"She can't be dead dad I can't lose her I can't fucking lose someone else I love, I can't do this, I can't take the pain, I don't even feel anything I don't know what to do, I don't know what to feel , I don't know how to feel. You said she had a chance at living but I go to the fucking restroom and when I come she's dead, It's so unfair dad, it's not alright, everyone dies everyone is dying and I don't wanna do this anymore dad, I wanna be with mom, grandma, grandpa. I want them to come back. She's dead someday you'll be dead and I'll be all alone." He immediately hugged me. 

"It's okay let it out and i'm not leaving you not anytime soon okay? I'm right here, Cry all you need to it's okay."

He kept telling me stuff, how it was going to be okay but I knew he didn't believe it himself how could I then? I kept crying. I couldn't stop, It was getting harder to breathe my hands were shaking. I suddenly had no control of myself. 

"You need to breathe love." 

"I can't dad, It's hard to, My chest feels tight." 

"I'll get you the inhaler just wait a second." 

He gave me 2 puffs. I calmed down and the shaking stopped after like 30 minutes. 

"You okay now?" 

"I don't know, that just kinda happened."

"I don't blame you for it, it's okay." 

"Can we sleep together today?" 

"Sure, You need to eat something though, I know you might  feel like you'll throw it up cause I feel like that but we need to." 

"Is Emily okay?" 

"I have no idea, her phone is switched off." 

"I hope she's okay." 

"Same love." 

We went downstairs to the kitchen. He cooked eggs for both of us. After eating, we went to his room. and laid down on the bed. 

"Dad, I don't know how to feel." 

"That's alright, you'll figure it out  and i'm going to be here when you do."

"Promise?" 

"Promise."