Avengers One Shots

Swear Jar

Steve and his swear jar. An odd pair.

Everytime an Avenger would say a bad word, Steve would hold out his jar, getting coins or dollars shoved into the jar.

On missions when the team would swear, Steve would take a mental note to bother them about it later.

Now, the payment.

Dimes for: hell and damn.

Quarters for: bitch, shit, ass, and dick.

Dollars for: fuck and pussy.

Tony definitely puts the most money in the jar: he's up to about fifty bucks.

At this point, all the Avengers carry dimes, quarters, and dollars in their pockets so they can just get the payment over with.

Now, some examples:

"For fuck's sake!" Clint exclaimed right after he stubbed his toe. Sadly, Steve was nearby to hear.

Steve immediately walked over to Clint and gave him that look. Clint rolled his eyes as he shoved his hand into his pocket, pulling out a dollar.

"Damn it!" Sam yelled as he landed on Bucky's property in monopoly. Once again, Steve was sitting nearby and heard it.

Steve walked over, holding out the jar. Sam glared at him but pulled out a dime that he placed in, groaning.

"Ha," Bucky said lightly.

"I hate you," Sam said.

"You've gotta be shitting me- how did this not work?" Tony yelled. He was working on a new project. Sadly for him, Steve was walking by his lab.

So the old man pulled out the swear jar, walked in the lab, and shook the jar. Tony turned around and frowned.

"Damn it," Tony said and Steve shook the jar even harder. Tony sighed as he grabbed a quarter and dime from his pocket and dropped them in the jar.

"Holy shit! I did well!" Peter exclaimed about his history test just as Steve walked into the kid's room.

Steve immediately held out the jar and shook it, getting Peter's attention, who groaned and grabbed a quarter from his desk, dropping it in the jar.

"I fucking hate you," Bucky said while he and Sam were lying on the floor after being beaten up by a new villain.

"Language," Steve said over comms. Sam lightly chuckled while Bucky groaned.

"Still hate you," Bucky said.

Once the mission was over, Bucky had to pay up to Steve.

In the end, by the time Steve had been doing the swear jar for six months, he had enough to buy a new motorcycle.

So he did.

And he continued to get paid for each swear word.

And no one liked it.

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