I FEEL EMPTY

3||

"I feel frustrated!"

Huh? Am I frustrated? Why did I think that? I was staring blankly at the ceiling though.

"Am I?", I asked in mind.

"Yes", came the response.

"No", I thought while frowning.

"Ahh I should sleep", I thought.

"Yeah that'll be better", that was the response.

I drifted off to sleep the next moment.

"I feel suffocated", I suddenly opened my eyes.

What's with that thought?

What is the time now? I rubbed my eyes and looked at the wall clock.. 3 AM? Was that a dream?

I again laid down.

"I feel depressed!", another thought struck.

"No I don't, at least for now maybe", I thought back.

Is my brain trying to gather typical 3 AM existential crisis thoughts right now?

"But I am depressed okay?", came another response.

"And why am I depressed?", I was thinking with curiosity.

"Everything"

Everything?

"I should take rest", I thought back. I'm literally thinking random things, but for some reason my chest felt heavy. But why? 

Maybe studying might help to divert my mind so I got up and started untying the bundle of books.

"Maybe I should try staying strong", another response flashed through my brain.

"Yea I definitely should! There's a long way to go", I assured myself. A sense of euphoria filled me, the positive feeling of not giving up.

I sat down and opened one of the books.

I've got two months and I'm kind of worried, I did prepare for the admission back then when I was with my parents but they wanted me to take medical instead of law, they wanted me to follow the same path as my sibling's ignoring my own wish. I'm happy now that I'm free to be the person I wanted to.

Since I've once prepared thoroughly to enter a law college a year ago, I just needed to revise to restore of what I've studied.

I started studying, I was feeling good since the memories of what I've studied were gushing into my brain.

I got so emerged into the books that I lost the track of time.

I saw some extra light flashing on my book, I looked the other side. Oh! The light was coming from outside the window. IS IT MORNING ALREADY?

I checked the clock! Oh shoot it's 6AM! Did I really study for 3 hours?? My goodness!!

My shift starts at 7 AM so there's no I can go back to sleep now.

But I started to feel sleepy. I don't want to, I whined.

Maybe getting fresh might help in kicking out the feeling of sleepy head.

I came out of the bathroom after taking a bath, but no! I was still feeling sleepy.

I looked at the clock, 6:30? I hurriedly got ready and went downstairs. It takes 20 minutes to reach the bakery by a walk so I usually jog considering a good morning exercise. But today I was too tired to jog so I kept walking.

Today was Monday so usually the school going students visit the bakery on workdays early in the morning to purchase delicacies to carry to their schools.

I entered the bakery.

"Good morning Aunt", I wished her while yawning.

"Good morning dear, did you not get enough sleep?", she asked.

"Uh yes aunt I didn't", I answered.

"That's alright if you want to rest you can lay your head down on the table, Lee Know has already arrived and helped me clean so you can rest. I'll tell Seungmin to wake you up if any costumer comes", she told with a motherly tone.

"Okay thank you aunty", I thanked and went to grab a chair at one of the tables.

I kept my head on table and immediately went off to sleep.

---------------------

My aunt summoned me from downstairs.

"Wait aunt I'm coming", I answered.

"Seungmin I told your friend Y/n to take some rest, the child was out of energy and devoid of sleep. Your responsibility is to wake her up when needed, alright? I'll be going with Lee Know and Changbin will join us on the way to buy some stuff at wholesale market", my aunt informed.

"Okay aunt I'll make sure of it", I assured her.

I saw her and Lee Know exiting the bakery. Well since there are no costumers I could also sit a bit and relax. I turned around and saw Y/n peacefully sleeping with her hair scattered all over her face.

I took a chair and sat in front of her, I kept looking at her. Just how beautiful is she! I smiled at the thought.

A while later a costumer came in, I didn't feel it necessary to wake Y/n up yet. I can handle 2-3 costumers on my own.

Han, Felix, Hyunjin and Jeongin usually come at evenings since it's their workdays at college at Jeongin's preparing for the college entrance, Felix couldn't come yesterday as he said he had some research work left that he planned to complete on weekends.

I stood up and went to cater the need of the costumer that arrived now.

Slowly by slowly more costumers started to visit the bakery. Right now I felt the need to wake Y/n up but I didn't want to disturb her beautiful sleep.

I couldn't help the situation, I need to wake Y/n up since the students are gushing inside.

I went to her and shrugged her shoulder lightly.

"Hey Y/n"

"Uh?", she squeezed her eyes. "Oh I'm so sorry for sleeping for so long", she apologized.

"You didn't sleep for long though, I didn't want to wake you up but many costumers are coming in and going out so I needed a hand for help", I said.

"Ah right right, wait lemme wash my face and come"

"Sure", I said and went to the counter.

She came back while tying her hair up, one of my weak points! The way she ties up is just so beautiful. I slapped myself through my thoughts and brought my attention back to the costumers.

"That'll be 10 dollars", I said finally watching as the number of costumers decreasing. It was time for their institutions to begin.