War Of Men

Merari

'So... I shade with black?'

Codrus buried his face in his hands. 'You know what, just do it.'

'Highlights are white then, I guess,' Arcane joked.

'I should have just agreed to paint the damn portrait.'

He most likely should have.

An elderly countess with a reputation of mistreating all the painters she ever let into her house had requested a portrait from Mr. Bennett. She always made them spend hours on it, repeatedly polishing and restarting, then paid them a meagre salary. Unfortunately, she had enough influence to ruin a career, so Codrus had used the excuse that he was teaching some of the Eseterrians to paint. The issue was, the old woman had been sceptical enough to question the Chèr. The confused boy had responded that he knew nothing of it but Medea claimed it had been agreed on a while back. Merari wondered whether she had wanted to help Codrus or punish him for lying.

'That's why you never use religion as an excuse,' Arcane reprimanded him.

'Okay, but to be fair, I don't blame him. The Countess once needed a "big strong boy" to lift something and she happened to spot Cleo. The poor guy came back flustered and twitching like a dying squirrel,' Merari recounted.

'You're telling me that guy made it onto the guard over me? At least I had the guts to lie to her,' pouted Codrus.

'I'm afraid I don't think the prince was evaluating that.'

In mock pride, Merari held up her painting of a very anatomically incorrect cat that looked like a mess. 'Daddy, are you proud of me?'

'So proud that I'm disowning you. Goodbye.'

'Father, no!' wailed Merari.

Arcane squeezed her face in despair. 'You really have some grave mental disease, don't you?'

'It's called a high IQ.'

'Incompetence quota,' muttered Codrus, gathering up his painting supplies.

Merari prodded a finger into his chest. 'Like you're so much smarter. I bet you think puns are funny.'

'Merari, last time Sabrina told a pun, you laughed for two minutes straight.'

'It was a very good pun, okay?'

'She'd already told it three times that morning,' Arcane said.

'Good comedy matures like fine wine.'

The banter died down. Codrus picked up a metal bucket and Arcane lifted Merari's painting. Silently, the three of them left the room and headed to the palace's exterior. They walked until they were reasonably far away from any potential observers.

Merari took her work of art off Arcane and lifted it to her face. It was hideous.

'Goodbye, my love.'

Meanwhile, Codrus had lit a fire in the bucket. Merari dropped her painting in and watched the flames creep up the canvas' sides. Nobody would ever be able to use that painting against her or Codrus.

'If anybody asks, you managed to spill a load of paint on yours so we got rid of it. Arcane's painting is the only souvenir we have.'

'I still prefer the version of the story in which you can't teach for toffee,' said Merari.

'No. That Countess would have taken the painting and found a way to ruin our lives with it, I just know it,' Codrus said, massaging his face.

'Well, it's been lovely watching Merari create the most horrific thing known to man, but I'm going back for lunch. Nancy should be eating about now.' Arcane had already started to leave.