Important A/N

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Hey guys, Ik I've been gone for some time now and I wanted to deeply apologize. I've been more depressed lately. Jus got out of a 3yr relationship and I haven't been the same. I try and update but then I jus get a overwhelming sensation to cry. My gma birthday is tmr, ina couple hours, and I've been thinking about her. Next month is her death day.

My gma been on my mind and I haven't been the best daughter, sibling, cousin, and friend. I feel like everyone is secretly hating me and don't care. Today I was braiding my sister hair and I messed up on the front of the braid, I asked her if she wanted me to do it over, and she yelled at me and said I can't do anything right to save my life...

I know y'all don't care or anything but I just feel like this is my space to vent and maybe someone would listen and I wouldn't feel like I'm annoying anyone. Everyone comes to me for help but when I need help, no ones there, so I come here.

I was weak all day yesterday, the only thing I could do was sleep. My sister woke me up one time yesterday, I couldn't move, she was asking me if we could play roblox, I tried to say yes, but I couldn't talk either. All I felt was my muscles shaking. She soon left out my room. Later on the same day, I was back moving and talking but still felt weak. My mama came out and started yelling at me because I wouldn't answer my sister and go play roblox with her.

I tried telling her that I couldn't move and talk and that I felt weak but she kept saying "That's a sorry excuse, you just didn't want to play with your sister, you the reason they fight because they want your attention and you don't want to give them any"....I didn't say anything else, just walked in my room, sat on my bed, and started playing with my fingers with her words running through my head.

What I didn't know is, I had a anxiety attack because of the rain and thunder yesterday, and it caused me to become weak to the point where I can't move and talk.

I always have anxiety attacks when it's heavy rain and heavy thunder. I had multiple of them in school...

I'm trying to update at least every Friday and every Saturday. Lol, I passed to the ninth grade though, nobody else care...My family only care when it's beneficial for them or it's something good getting put on them...

Father's Day comin up,,like every other year,,I gotta skip it but watch my cousins be with they father, or my friends with they father, then there's me- don't know where my dad at, haven't heard from him since my 11th birthday....3yrs ago.

That's all I had to say, Happy Pride Month to all the LGBTQ+.

      ~Niah 😔✊🏾

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