not just posting but also explaining the meaning and techniques and inspiration behind it, since I always feel insecure posting the pretentious bits on IG bc I don't want to look like a tool. so I will post that here and hopefully it can either hel...
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Shown above: Local lesbian cryptid found in her natural habitat. Surrounded by pussy.
Jokes aside, it's pride month. Which means that while I am not the joke, every single virtue signaling will ensure that my cynical attitude, past trauma, and general dislike of ally twitter stan woke zoomer culture, will make my dark sense of humor get me in trouble. Usually with the straights. Look, my gay ass didn't attempt suicide in 2005 just to survive and be hounded by dumbass kids telling me what not to call myself. I am tired. I am so tired.
Im bored of virtue signaling, i am bored with cancel culture, I am done with endless discussions of microaggressions, mandatory public shaming, selfflagellalalaalation, and endless goalpost shifting. But really, I'm just fuckin tired. I would like to be a housewife to another woman and live comfortably ever after. That's all. I'd like it if I wasn't different, if I was neither hated nor celebrated, if there was nothing to note of me at all. If I was simply imperceptible as different from others, save for my egregious wardrobe choices.
Like, two years ago I was convinced that if I could go from a psych patient doomed to long term care as an invalid to somewhat functional, maybe I could be straight. I managed to bag the only decent man I have ever known. Like, my ex-boyfriend is probably the kindest, sweetest, most creative, empathetic, most wholesome human being I have ever met and honestly he deserved so much better. I thought, if this absolute 10/10 catchdidnt make me straight, nobody will.. And then I realized, wow, this is a really fucked up and terrible thing to do and if being queer doesn't condemn you as an awful person, this kind of behavior absolutely should.
He doesn't even hold it against me which makes me feel even more ashamed of myself. Except it's not about being queer that I'm ashamed of, its being queer AND being a manipulative, lying coward.
So cats out of the bag, I'm out of the closet and I like being really dark with my jokes. So when I said that my celebration of pride month turned from hanging myself as a kid being my first introduction to the bug gay world of autoeroticasphyxiation, it wasn't received well.
"That's not funny." -someone who has never tried to kill themselves
" you cant say that kind of shit in decent public company" -someone who is probably right
Me, as a 12 yr old, presumably sad because I failed at swallowing all the pills at home so I had to do horrible normie things like go outside and walk the dog.
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Me at age 30, enjoying Christmaswith my elderly cat whom I was overjoyed was even still alive for Christmas that year.
