Black Waters (Frank Ocean Love Story)

Chapter 十一

Ajahni’s View .  †

My hair is not how it used to be. I now have long, black box braids in my hair. My lips are not how they used to be. I’m wearing heavy red lipstick now. My skin is not the same. It’s plastered in golden makeup and eye shadow. My clothes are not the same. I’m wearing a sheer beige dress and black high heels.

In fewer words, I feel completely different. But that’s only because I’m not Ajahni anymore—I’m Chanel Belmonte, a different person than Ajahni Nash. Of course, Ajahni still exists, but for now I have to be Chanel. Just in order for my plan to work out.

It didn’t take long to get to Portland. When I got there I saw that I was early to the concert. The concert was to start in about an hour and a half, and I wasn’t even there yet. I left the long-distance cab and walked slowly in the direction of the outdoor famous bar, SOB’s. It wasn’t actually famous, but it was bigger than normal bars.

At first, walking was difficult for me. I used to see the world out of Ajahni’s eyes—a girl who accepts not being “beautiful” and doesn’t care about anyone’s opinion. But Chanel isn’t supposed to be like that. She’s supposed to be confident.

Fortunately for me, every time a guy turned around to stare at me as I walked past him, I got more and more confident. Was I actually…attractive?

No. Chanel is attractive. On the inside, I’m still Ajahni.

I got to SOB’s in no time, when there was a sound crew on the stage fixing things. I seemed to be the only one there besides three or four other people. I walked to the chair that was listed on my ticket; Seat 441H. I found the seat and sat down with my bag in my lap.

That’s when I realized that it wasn’t only a sound crew on the stage. They were doing sound checks…with Hodgy.

He was standing in front of the mike, joking around and saying a few dumb things. I could barely see the outline of his face. This seat is horrible, I thought. But it was cheap.

I got up, dropped my bag on my chair, and walked to the front row. When the person who paid for this seat comes, I’ll move.

It was a perfect front-row, mid-section seat, directly in front of Hodgy. Left Brain was next to him, too. Together they formed Mellowhype, a hip-hop duo within Odd Future. After a few moments of making Left Brain laugh because of the weird noises Hodgy was making into the microphone, he noticed me sitting there. Then he started laughing at himself, seemingly embarrassed.

“Guys, let’s take a 5.” He called to his crew. They stopped working and Hodgy headed off stage and walked in my direction. When he finally got to my seat, he plopped himself in the one next to me and grinned.

“Hi.” He said energetically. I laughed at how boyish he was.

“Hey.” I replied.

“What’s your name?”

“Aj—I mean, my name’s Chanel. Yours is Hodgy, right? Or should I call you Mr. Beats?” I asked jokingly. He laughed, too.

“People like you can call me Damien; my middle name.” He explained.

“People like me?”

“Cool people. You seem cool.” Damien smiled warmly at me.

“I’m flattered.” I said, smiling back. I actually felt really pretty with this red lipstick. Damien got up, seeing more people piling into the backyard of SOB’s. Showtime was close.

“Chanel, can you meet me after the show? You don’t have to come backstage, just wait for me in front of the bar.” He asked hesitantly.

“Sure, I will.” I promised. Damien ran back up on the stage and went backstage with Left Brain.

Why can’t it be this easy when I try to go to Christopher’s concerts?

                                                               * * *

The concert wasn’t something I would attend. Everything was too crazy, too energetic. They were yelling and jumping and doing all that they could up there. It was laughable, but still insane. Right after the concert was over I picked up my bags and rushed inside SOB’s to get something to eat.

I bought a scone, hot chocolate, and some cake for later. I sat at one of the tables and ate until I saw Damien wandering outside—probably looking for me. I wiped the crumbs off my mouth and went outside. He saw me and smiled.

“Are you in a rush to get somewhere?” He asked when I went out to him.

“Nope. I can stay up all night if I need to; it’s not like I even have a hotel here yet.” I replied truthfully.

“Well, c’mon. My hotel isn’t far from here.”

Damien wasn’t sleeping at a five-star hotel like I had expected. It wasn’t like a motel, but it wasn’t all that. It was just like something I would stay in. He was on the fourth floor. We made small talk the whole way while walking to the hotel, and when we were on the fourth floor he fumbled with the room key.

“Here we go.” He said, finally sliding it in. The door opened and we entered. It was big and spacious, with two big beds on either side of the room, a bathroom, a flat-screen, laptop, and closet. Not much, but more than I can afford. “Make yourself at home.” He said.

I dropped my bag where he put his coat, and followed him to sit on one of the beds. The small-talk became awkward at first, until finally I steered it in the right direction.

“Why did you want me to meet you after the show?” I asked him.

“Like I said, you’re cool. And since Brain is going out tonight, I decided to make a friend.” Damien smiled. Gosh, that smile of his was just too boyish.

“Oh, okay. Well I’m glad you asked me anyway. I wanted to talk to you.” I told him.

“About what?” He asked, getting a funny look on his face.

“Your friend, Frank Ocean.” The words made me cringe.

“What about Frank?”

“Well…I knew him in high school. We were good friends, and I really care about him a lot. When he became famous he totally forgot about me…” I started.

“Really? Well, I can give you his number if you want.”

“Oh, no. That’s ok.  It wouldn’t make a difference if you gave me his number, because every time I try to reach out to him, something—or someone—stops me.” It hurt to turn him down, but I knew I had to do what I had to do.

“What do you mean?”

“I wanted you to tell me if you know about any…enemies that Frank had or has. Anyone that doesn’t like him or could be out to get him.” I explained.

“Nah, I don’t think he has any enemies.” Damien replied.

“How about past relationships? It could be someone he used to date, maybe someone that thinks I want to date him and is trying to prevent that from happening.”

“That sounds crazy. I don’t think anyone would…well, actually, the first person that comes to mind is…I assume you know about his sexuality. So there’s this guy that he fell in love with, and they haven’t been in contact for a while. The person you’re looking for could be the guy Frank loves. But I seriously doubt it, Chanel.”

“I know…it’s stupid. I should’ve never spoken to you about it. I’m sorry. I guess I’ll just head out, so you can do whatever it is you do.” I pouted. I stood up and went toward my bag. Inside, I was super-excited. Why didn’t I ever think of that? It must’ve been that Forrest guy.

“Wait, no. It’s not stupid. Stay. Let’s talk about it more. But if you want to leave now, give me your number so we can meet up sometime.” Damien stopped me. I smiled.

“Okay. Thanks, Damien.” I said. I sat back down next to him and he smiled at me again…I realized that his smile isn’t just boyish—it’s cute too.

We’ll see how this goes.