Black Waters (Frank Ocean Love Story)

Chapter 五

Ajahni’s View.

I was looking over my shoulder the whole time. When I escaped the hospital, I only managed to grab one outfit out from my suitcase, which consisted of some cheap white sweatpants with a hole at the side and a baggy white T-shirt.

I didn’t even know why they took me to the hospital. I mean, of course because I got raped. That’s where they always drag you when that happens. But they shouldn’t have kept me there. The boys did a lot of damage (I’m still sore from it) but I’m fine. I’m strong. They should’ve recognized that.

Was I scared that I’ll get in trouble for breaking out of the hospital? Definitely. But I was doing this for reasons a lot of people couldn’t understand. I’m tired of it. I refused to spend another year of my life without him. I needed him. I’d die without him.

I insisted on finding him.

I looked over my shoulder one last time; there was no one in sight. I exhaled in relief, and emerged into the street. There were no cars here anyway; the street was tree-lined with no houses, and a few birds circling up ahead.

I suddenly remembered some beautiful moments with him, when we sat in the cabin and relaxed…we were happy in those days. I was with him in those days.

I missed those days.

There were two beds in the bedroom. The smaller one was higher up than the bigger one. I was on the smaller one, and he was on the bigger one near the window. My eyes were closed and I had just been drifting off to sleep when I heard him whisper, “Psst.”

I ignored it. Either I was dreaming or he was sleep-talking.

“Ay,” he whispered again. I opened my eyes, and he was lying on the bed with his eyes wide open. The room was pitch-dark (this room of the cabin didn’t have electric lighting, so as soon as it got dark, we had to go to sleep), but the window behind his bed gave full view of big blue moon…the moonlight shined onto his face, making it glisten in the most beautiful way…

“Yeah?” I mumbled tiredly. My eyes were already half-closed again. I saw him smile though.

“It’s only ten o’ clock.” He said. I opened my eyes again. Then he snickered. “But then again…you did work hard earlier. You deserve your sleep.”

I felt myself blush. He was referring to what we did a few hours ago. It was about 7:00 PM when we had just finished writing some lyrics and eating, and we were lying in bed…and then it happened. It lasted only about thirty minutes, too.

But it was amazing.

“Come here.” Christopher said.

“Come here where?” I murmured.

“Come on this bed.” He replied.

“Why?”

“The window’s making me cold.” After he said this, he pouted a little bit. He didn’t have to beg. I immediately took the sheets off of me and climbed onto his bed, with my back facing him. He put some of his sheets over me and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer.

He pulled me until there was literally no space between our bodies on the bed. I felt him smile on the back of my neck, and soon his hands were wandering. I let out little gasps and squeals here and there, and then I was half-asleep.

“I really like you.” Christopher said into my ear.

“I really like you too.” I replied. Then he took his shirt off and lay on his back, and I laid my head on his chest.

I fell asleep to his heartbeat.

“Do you know where I can find a computer?” I asked the man standing under the store awning next to me. He looked up from his phone and at me, and his eyes widened a bit. Of course, I wasn’t the hottest chick around right now in old white baggy clothes, short frizzy hair, and a probably puzzled face.

“Um, I don’t know.” He mumbled, and went back to his phone. I sighed. I needed a computer, or else being here in the city was useless.

I felt like, just for a moment, I was going to cry. I sucked on my bottom lip and sulked, trying my best not to make the tears come.

“I think…I think there might be a library somewhere near here. Walk a block up, turn left, walk down that hill, turn left again, and keep walking straight. You can’t miss it.” The man said. He must’ve seen the despair on my face when he told me there was no computer place.

I felt my face light up once again. I thanked him, and then made my way  down the hill and to the library. When I walked in, I had to sign up for a library card with a fake alias (the old lady didn’t ask me for ID) and then I was able to use the computer.

I logged on to frankocean.com. There were pictures of him…in most of them, he was wearing an American Flag bandana around his head. I don’t know where he got that idea from, but it was unique. I went to the page that had the letter on it…the letter in which he told his fans that his ‘first love’ was a man.

Last time I checked, I wasn’t a man. He was supposed to say ‘second love’. But instead, he morphed the stories of how he fell in love with me and how he fell in love with a man together, and came up with that letter.

Warm tears filled the brim of my eyes when I read the letter.

“I love you.” I whispered, touching a picture of him. Then I realized where I was, and looked from side-to-side to see if anyone heard me. No one seemed to have heard, so I continued scrolling down the pages of the website. He was always posting how he felt, quotes, pictures…

But nothing about me.

Why is it that I always felt like crying? I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in tears. I had to find some kind of happiness. But then again, that was the whole reason I was on  this website; to get my happiness back.

I scrolled down to where tour dates were showed—he wasn’t coming back here, but his next concert was in Pittsburgh. I’m sure, somehow, I could make it there…

“Excuse me,” someone said from behind me, “are you Ajahni Nash?”

I turned around to see two police officers. The one that spoke to me was a man with a white mustache and a big head.

“Um…” I trailed off.

“Ma’am, we’re going to need you to come with us.” Another one of the officers said.

I was not going back to that hospital, and I wasn’t too stupid to know that that’s where they were going to take me. So what could I do? If that hospital is not in Pittsburgh where Christopher is, I didn’t need to be there.

Again, what could I do?

I spit in one of the officer’s face and kicked the other one in his balls, and ran like the devil out of that library.