Black Waters (Frank Ocean Love Story)

Chapter 三十四

Christopher’s View

I took a flight back to New York. Darcelle tried to make a big fuss of my reunion with my “roommate”, as she knew him, but I just told her that we promised to keep in touch. We didn’t, because I didn’t want to have anything to do with Forrest. It wasn’t that I hated him, but I just needed to intently focus on Ajahni for now. Maybe after Ajahni and I were back together again, I would have time to entertain Forrest.

But at the same time, maybe I wouldn’t. Maybe I would never forgive him for keeping Ajahni and I apart for so long.

New York was a different environment for me, that’s all. There was no other real reason why I came here. I walked along the streets, ordered a Subway, and rented the same room at a hotel that I did last time I came here.

In the hotel room, I watched old sitcoms for a while, laughing at their cute jokes. I even watched a little bit of E! News talking about how I tweeted that I smoked pot. It seemed like anything could make the news these days.

But television made me tired. I would have tried to stay up by checking my email, which was probably full of messages from Clancy and the rest of the crew, but there was no laptop in the room. Satisfied with the lack of internet, I curled up on the soft bed and stared out of the window until I fell asleep.

“You know that’s bad for you.” I say to her, watching her take handfuls of blue and pink cotton candy from a plastic bag. She shrugs.

“It tastes good.” She testifies, continuing to nibble on her snack. She closes her eyes as it melts in her mouth, leaving behind a sugary taste.

“You know what that stuff is made of? Sugar and food coloring. Nothing less, nothing more.” I inform her, taking a huge chunk of the blue part.

“Hey! Don’t take any if it’s so bad for you, Dr. Oz.” She shouts sarcastically. I eat it anyway, and she gives the rest to me. I don’t want it, though. It’s hers. She can have it. I bought it for her, anyway.

We are both tired; we just got back from the town fair with cotton candy and teddy bears. It was a pretty cliché day. The sun is only now setting, since we left pretty early. At least we got to take a ride on the ferries wheel.

I wish I could have kissed her.

Why can’t I just do it already? I mean, she’s one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met. She’s probably the most beautiful. She seems to like me too, more than as a friend. If one of us should make the move, it’s me. I’m the guy, I’m the one that nurtures her constantly.

But I just can’t do it.

Something about her—the way she handles herself, she way she speaks to me—makes me feel like she’ll reject me if I ever ask her. But I don’t want to be friends forever. Something has to happen to get us together.

Maybe I’ll just let things happen in their own way.

For the first time, I woke up from my dream calmly. There was no breathing, no sweating. Maybe that was because it wasn’t a dream, it was a flashback. What I dreamt of had happened before. I remembered it clearly, the coldness of the room after the fair and having to lend Ajahni my sweater after she was done with her cotton candy. Damn, those times.

But maybe I should just let things happen in their own way. I could just stop looking for Ajahni and let fate reunite us, just like fate brought us together in the first place. That seemed much easier, anyway. After all, it was fate that made me meet Forrest again.