Black Waters (Frank Ocean Love Story)

Chapter 十八

Ajahni’s View.  †

I could feel myself drifting in and out of consciousness. I was starting to think that they kept me in this hospital for too long. I mean, all I had was a cut. Shouldn’t they just bandage it and let me go? Why am I still here?

I was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, my head rocking back and forth in tiredness. They were about to release me, but the nurse was bent on interrogating me. I would have been nervous if it wasn’t for the weird, numb feeling I had.

“Are you sure your name is Chanel Belmonte?” The nurse asked, looking at me sideways. I shrugged.

“Yeah, that’s what I planned on telling you people.” I slurred at her. She stepped back from me, probably because my breath didn’t smell too good. Or maybe I was just scaring her.

“Claire, come in here please.” The nurse called out into the hallway. I lay back on the bed in a daze. What was this? It was strange to be feeling like this. It was hard to describe. I was just floating on cloud nine, unable to think about anything, but still thinking about everything at the same time.

This was actually kind of nice.

“Hi, Chanel. I’m Nurse Claire. I’m just going to ask you a few questions, okay?” An older woman with thin black hair said as she came into the room. I didn’t reply to her, so she just sat on the bed and stared at me.

“Chanel—”

“Stop calling me that,” I interrupted her. “You should just stop calling me Chanel, because she isn’t here right now.”

“What do you mean? You told us your name was Chanel.” Claire replied, pretending to be confused. In reality though, I could tell she was on the verge of calling security for me.

“Yeah, I know that. But I just did that because I couldn’t tell you my real name. If I did, you would say, ‘didn’t you already break out of a hospital?’ So I told you my name is Chanel. She isn’t here, though.” I explained with ease. I smiled…it was this peculiar high that was allowing me to talk like this.

“So, who is Chanel?” The other nurse, whose name was Roseanne, asked.

“It all started when I wanted to meet Hodgy Beats. In order to see him, I had to create an alias. And Chanel Belmonte was that alias. But then I started to own up to it. I started to become her. I didn’t like it. So when she saw I refused to become Chanel Belmonte, she branched off into an alter ego. So now she lives inside of me. She’s a part of my personality. She tells me what to say and how to behave.” I explained swiftly. Both women stared at me blankly. They had no further questions. They just made me sit up, and I waited on the bed until the two men in khaki uniforms walked in. They took me by each of my hands and walked me out into the hallway.

“What is this, my first day of kindergarten?” I asked hoarsely. One man laughed.

“No. This is the beginning of something new, though. You might not find it to be as enjoyable as kindergarten.” He said with a knowing grin. He’d been through this before. He knew the routine.

“Oh, the big empty room with foam walls, right? That’s where you’re taking me, huh?” I chuckled. “So you people think I’m crazy.”

“They’ll determine that when Dr. Hapton interviews you at Cedar Gardens.” The other man said as we entered the elevator. Cedar Gardens was a mental health institute in Yonkers—I remember seeing the brochure in my hospital room. I had to think fast. I had to consider the right choice to make.

I could run away and get away with it. I’d done it before. It would be easy, and I could come up with a getaway plan in a matter of seconds. But how would that help me? Would that help me get two steps ahead of Forrest like I want to be, or will it get me caught by him again?