More Than the Music: One Shots

Lexi and Sam - Worries

Lexi and Sam - Worries

A/N: I have always written that Lexi had fears of being a terrible mom, but of course, she turned out to be the most amazing mom out there. I wanted to include some of her fears in a one shot, so here it is. Enjoy!

Three months. Lexi was three months away from her due date. As the date began to draw closer and closer, the worries of her becoming a bad mom ran through her mind. The worries, the negative words raced through her mind at irregular speeds. She found it difficult to control. Putting together the nursery didn't help, but occasionally, on some days, it kept her mind busy.

Had she told Sam about her worries? No! Of course not. That was very Lexi-like of her. Everyone who knew her quite well knew she was a person who built her walls up, and loved to focus and prioritize everyone else, before herself. She got that trait from her mom, and honestly, it was a gift and a curse.

Since she was away on mat leave, Lexi had busied herself at home. She would slowly work on the nursery while Sam was at work. Then, when he would come home, they'd have dinner, work on the nursery some more, and then spend the evening watching a show, or just having some quality time together. They wanted to spend as much time together as they could, because once their son arrived, they knew that they would have to focus and prioritize him more than themselves.

Lexi sighed as she picked up the paint roller, and rolled it through the blue paint she and Sam had chosen for the walls in their son's room. The couple had moved into her house together, since it was the reasonable choice, and it was quite spacious, and suitable for raising their son. In the corner, there was the crib that was slowly in the process of being built. There were boxes of things to be built, and god, there were heaps and heaps of baby clothing. She didn't know a baby needed so many items of clothing, but one thing she knew for sure was that their son was loved and spoiled.

She smiled when she heard the front door open downstairs.

"Hey, I'm home!" Sam said, as he unpacked his bag, before walking up the stairs to see his girlfriend. He always missed seeing her now that she was no longer teaching.

"Hey." Lexi smiled, as Sam walked into the room, immediately rushing over to her, and taking the paint roller away. He chuckled at her slight pout.

"What did I say about overworking yourself?" He asked, raising his eyebrow.

"As much as it concerns you, Sam, I haven't been working that long." Lexi replied, unbothered by his constant need to ensure she was healthy, and not overworking herself. It was quite amusing actually.

"Really?" Sam asked, unconvinced, as Lexi was quick to pull the paint roller out of his hand. "How many hours?"

"Uh, just one." Lexi lied. She sighed when Sam shook his head.

"I told you to work for half an hour and take breaks, or don't work at all." Sam explained.

"Baby, I am capable of painting a room for more than an hour." Lexi argued.

"No you aren't." Sam shook his head, as Lexi bit her lip to prevent her from laughing.

"Yes I am." Lexi stated firmly, as she continued to paint the wall.

"Lex..." Sam said, grabbing the paint roller from her.

"I need to keep my mind busy, okay, Sam!" Lexi explained, exasperated. "I have nothing else to do but sit around the stinking house all day. I'm six months pregnant, and I just need to keep myself occupied! What don't you get about that?" She asked, her voice cracking near the end of her rant.

At this, Sam sighed. It had taken him time to analyze whether or not she needed to be held, or simply listened to. He finally figured out that she needed him to comfort her. It was visible she was stressed, overwhelmed, and had much on her mind.

"Babe, just stop, you aren't okay." Sam pleaded quietly, gently taking the paint roller from his girlfriend, and leading her out of the nursery into their bedroom.

Once they were in the bedroom, Sam watched as Lexi carefully sat down on their bed, trying to get comfortable. She leaned her back against the headboard, and pulled the blanket over her. There were tears in her eyes, as she did everything in her ability to prevent them from falling.

"Lex?" Sam called softly, as he joined her in bed, and sat down next to her. He looked at her, as she sniffled, but bit her lip preventing the tears from falling. However, it failed because once tears began to stream down her face, it was useless to try to stop them. "Oh, baby, come here." He cooed, pulling her gently into his side. Lexi hid her face in his shoulder, as she cried quietly, all while he rubbed her back with one of his hands, and stroked his fingers through her hair, while whispering comforting words.

After Lexi had managed to calm down, she pulled away a little, so she could wipe her tears. She let out some deep, but shaky breaths. "I'm okay. I'm okay." She finally said, as if she was reassuring herself.

"Do you want to talk about what's been on your mind lately?" Sam asked, tentatively. He was afraid of ruining the calmness, but he wanted to be there for her, and help her out.

Lexi took a moment to collect herself, and was quick to intertwine her hand with Sam's for consolation. Once she felt ready, she began to answer him. "I've just been dealing with a lot of stress. The pregnancy is drawing to an end in three months. And part of me is unsure if I'm even cut out to be a mom." She paused, with a shrug, as more tears welled in her eyes. "I have this underlying fear that I'm gonna turn out to be a bad mom. I don't have my mom here to walk me through how she parented me. She was alone, and didn't have anyone...but I have you, and I'm more than grateful. I'm still scared I'm not going to know what to do, and that I'm just going to turn out a horrible mom." She finished, sobbing into her hands, as Sam pulled her into his arms again.

"Lexi." Sam said, after a few minutes of comfortable silence. He made sure to look down at her, as he spoke the following words. "You are a wonderful person. You are strong, and have endured more than many people have at your age. This only says you're going to make an amazing mom. You are kind, intelligent, loyal, understanding, caring, loving, and you will go lengths for anyone, no matter the risk or strife. Our son is going to be lucky to get to call you his mom." He smiled when Lexi smiled softly up at him. "So, I don't want you turning this into a whole negative based insecurity. Because, you are going to be the opposite of a bad mom. I can say that with confidence, and I know many other special people in our life that would agree."

Hearing his reassuring words, Lexi let out another shaky breath, before speaking again. "Thank you." She finally whispered, giggling when Sam smirked.

"Anything for you, babe." He replied, leaning down and capturing her lips in his. Once they pulled away, she leaned her forehead against his, allowing their noses to touch. She smiled up at him, as he smiled back at her.

"I love you." Lexi said, as he sent her a fond look. "Thank you for always being here for me."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Sam said, sincerity evident in his tone. "I love you too, so much." He leaned down to kiss her again, but stopped when she groaned quietly, placing a hand over her stomach.

"We can't even have full quality time anymore." Lexi muttered, cracking a joke, as Sam laughed, placing his hand over her stomach.

"And we love you too, buddy." Sam said, as Lexi smiled, nodding her head. She chuckled when Sam lifted her shirt up a bit, and kissed her stomach.

"We do, buddy. We really do." Lexi said under her breath. "I love both of you so much."