Dnf/Karlnap(ity) Oneshots

rant (and update)

Oki so there's gonna be some shit in here I'll put a ❌ where the TW starts and stops (the update is at the bottom

Tw: self harm, eating troubles, panic attack

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Uhm this is kind of my safe space idk, wattpad has always been that for me.

And I just wanna say first that here, on my one shot book anyone is welcome (expect if you are one that hates on others) no matter who you are, what you look like, what your sexuality is, your gender, what mental illnesses you have, any physical or mental disabilities, any interests, any hobbies. You are welcomed, you are loved, I appreciate you, I love you.

Feel free to trauma dump, rant or just spark conversation in the comments, I will listen to you, your feelings are valid.

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So now to the actual thing I was going to say. I was almost 4 months clean. I say almost because I couldn't hold back anymore. I was doing very good until a depressive episode just me like a buss while I'm staying with my dad (who is a complete asshole) and the urge just got bigger and bigger, and I couldn't resist. It was kinda fine, but then I scrached my foot and it hurt and it felt just like the burning I get after cutting, and I fucking lost myself. I did it and then had a panic attack. All without my dad even bothering to check on me, even though I know this house has extremely thin walls and that he definitely heard me sobbing. At least now that I've done it I don't need to try and hurt myself in other ways. My brain has been constantly telling me to do fucking stupid stuff. The eating is the worst, because one part of my brain is telling me to overeat while the other is telling me to not eat at all. I keep drinking a bunch of monster energy not even bothering to drink water even though I start shaking and it feels like I'm gonna pass out. And I've just not been sleeping, i keep fucking telling myself that if I just don't sleep I'll eventually just pass out or just not feel terrible anymore, and I'm so fucking tired.
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Anyways. I've done it now. So I'll hopefully get my mind back on track in a little bit. So I'll be working on stories. The one that is really up in my brain atm is the dnf IT au where Dream is Richie and George is Eddie.

Did anyone know I used to write Reddie fanfiction? I think if you search my username there will pop up another account (witch is my old one) I think it's still up lol.

I also turn 14 soon witch is cool (age travels ig?) even tho it says my age in my fucking username. Speaking of my username, what should it be when I turn 14? Should I just change it to horny 14 year old? Or should it be something new? I have no idea.

(Dream is listening to music I don't know about and people are calling it hot help)