The Twins & Me

Dr. Camden's Christmas Party

In the end, it was Dad who convinced me to go.

"Why did you do it?" he asked me over the phone. Lila told Mom I'd broken up with Arlo, and I think Dad convinced her to let him call me.

"It just wasn't working out," I said, thumbing the invitation while lying on my bed. I hadn't been able to let go of it; the party was only a day away.

"You know, that kid reminded me of myself going after your mother."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. He could probably tell over the phone.

"She was already serious with another guy—but I knew I could make her happier. I needed to be around her, I wanted to be there for her through anything she had to go through. For your guy to follow you all the way here with no plan and no place to stay just to see you—it sounded like something I would've done. What I would still do."

I clenched my phone; hot tears sprung into my eyes. "I—I came between them, Dad. Him and Ollie. Their relationship is different than the one you broke up."

Dad was silent for a moment. "But you were happy?"

The question threw me off guard. "Y-yeah."

"And Arlo—was he happy?"

I slid my finger along the edge of the invitation. "I think so."

"Then his brother will get over it. I'm sure he just wants Arlo to be happy. I got the impression he liked you, too. Maybe in a way that was more than friends, I don't know."

My finger froze on the paper.

"At the end of the day, we don't get many chances to be happy. It's important to seize those moments when we can and screw everything else."

After that phone call, I asked Lila to borrow one of her dresses.

The dress we landed on is deep red, strapless, with a sweetheart neckline and lace on the skirt that stops above my knees. Her hair stylist friend came over and did my hair and makeup. I even opted for heels, which is something I usually stay away from. Her friend curls my hair and gives me a subtle smoky-eye with more blending than I could ever hope to accomplish myself, with eyebrows that actually match.

Lila finishes me off with a spritz of perfume and a dark coat before pushing me out the door.

"Go get him," she whispers, handing me her car keys.

My fingers shake as I grip the steering wheel; my stomach is in so tight of knots I think there's an alien inside me.

What am I even going to say to them? I still don't even know I feel when it comes to Ollie—but I can't deny I'm happy when I'm around him. And the pain in my chest from missing him surprises me.

Their father lives on the upper north side of the city—in an even nicer area than the boys'. White swirlies begin to descend as I come upon his street, lined with brownstones. It's quiet here, with ornate streetlamps and little wrought-iron fences. I immediately spot the house—it lights up the whole block.

"You can do this," I mumble to myself as I manage to find a spot. "Just...tell them how you feel. Beg for forgiveness. Anything."

The house has classical Christmas music humming out of it, which mingles with the laughs and clinks of glasses from the forms lingering around the windows. My mouth is dry and my fingers have a hard time unlocking their gate. Up the steps, I take a deep breath and ring the bell.

In a few moments, the door swings open and I'm greeted with a smiling blond woman and a rush of warm air, music, and the sweet scent of holly. The woman is petite; her features are smooth and crisp and her dress is black and formal.

Her smile wavers a little when she doesn't recognize me. "Hello, dear."

This must be the boys' stepmother. I return her smile as best I can. "Hi, Mrs. Camden? I'm—I'm Wren North."

Her gaze lights up at once. "Yes, yes! Come in! So glad you could make it."

She ushers me inside, her hand on my elbow. The foyer is grand with hardwood floors and an ornate staircase leading to the second level of the three-story house. Light and music and voices come from all directions; to the right is a den and to the left is the living room, which is sporting a huge Christmas tree filled with lights and baubles.

"Oh, Wren, we didn't think you'd be able to attend," Mrs. Camden says, taking my coat and handing it off to a guy in a tux. "Let's go see if we can track down the boys, eh?"

Her breath smells faintly of some berry-smelling liquor, but her wits are obviously still about her. She doesn't seem like the type of woman to let loose.

I try to take everything in as she leads us from room to room, all teeming with fancy-dressed older people. She smiles and gives little waves and "Have you seen where the twins ran off to?" to a few tipsy ones.

In the kitchen, a large white room with marble countertops and grey cabinets, we come across Dr. Camden himself. He's holding a beer with his tie loosened and is surrounded by some other men who are in similar states.

"Felix, dear!" Mrs. Camden says, drawing us closer. "Look who made it!"

The doctor lights up and smiles when he sees me. "Wren! So good to see you again. Glad you could come. Want a drink?"

I politely shake my head. Maybe this was all a mistake. What if, when I manage to find the twins, they want nothing to do with me? If I embarrass them in front of their father and his guests?

"Of course she didn't come here to see you, hun, where is Ollie?"

Felix jerks his head to a pair of glass doors off of the back of the kitchen. "Think the twins and Bastian went out to the garden."

"Perfect," she says, grabbing a champagne flute from the island before pulling me to the double doors.

Right off the kitchen is a covered patio; it's illuminated by bulb lights snaking around the wooden beams of the pergola overhead. A large seating area with a few lounge chairs and sofas sit around a roaring firepit—and there, lounging, is Arlo and Ollie.

My breath catches in my throat at the sight of them in their Christmas best. Wool sweaters, red and green with dark pants and shoes. Their hair is styled nicely and they've got their favorite gold jewelry on—it's like stab to the abdomen to see their star necklace and earrings. Even from this distance, I'd recognize their stars anywhere. My own pendant hangs around my neck.

The boys each have a drink in their hand. Across from them, back turned to me, is another guy. He has bright blond hair that's oddly familiar, but I don't have time to think about it because the twins look up at me.

"Look who I found!" Mrs. Camden introduces excitedly.

Time seems to pause for a moment. They're just as surprised as I expect. I watch them closely, hoping against all odds I don't find disgust or anger at my coming to the party. Arlo's eyes lock with mine, and I quickly dart my gaze to Ollie. Impossibly slowly, he seems to drink me in. Arlo stands as if he can't quite believe I'm here.

Then, almost simultaneously, they smile.