We left Milo at his apartment, trapped by stacks of books in enough space for him to lie down and sleep. We walk through the aisles, and finally find the pet section.
I grab a bunch of wet kitten food, while Wilbur giggles at the pink, sparkly collar he finds. "He'll look great in this!"
We also get a small, black bed, a food and water bowl, a litter box, litter, and a scooper, treats, and a bunch of different, stupid little toys. Wil decides to go ahead and get some groceries, too, and we take a long time, getting him way too much food, but it all looks so good.
"I didn't realize how hungry I was." I mutter as we walk out with the cart full of bags.
We pack the groceries in my car, since Wil doesn't have one. "Well, are there any places that would be open at three in the morning?"
I start the car. "There's a Waffle House next to campus."
"A what?"
I give him a surprised look. "You've never had Waffle House?"
He shakes his head, and I sigh.
"It's low-key gross but amazing at the same time." I grin at him and reverse the car. "Well, now we have to go."
Once we get there, we just hope that the cold weather will keep the groceries cool, and walk inside. There's one other couple sitting at the bar, and we go to a booth by a the window. We order drinks, and Wilbur tries to look at the menu, but I stop him.
"Only get waffles and bacon. Ryan has tried everything on the menu, throughout multiple visits, of course, and he puked at everything except the waffles and bacon."
"Oh, wow," Wilbur says with a laugh.
We order our food, which almost immediately gets cooked. I watch as Wilbur takes his first bite, and he nods.
"Not the best thing ever, but when you're starving at three a.m., it's pretty damn good."
"Agreed,"
We both eat pretty fast, not talking at all for the few minutes. I don't want to leave quite yet, enjoying this time with Wil, so I ask for a refill instead of the check.
"So," Wil stirs his straw around, making the ice clink against the glass cup. "How are things with Oliver?"
I look down at the table and lick my front teeth. "It's good. He takes me on plenty of dates, but most are accompanied by Ryan and Sofia, which can get a little weird sometimes. He's really sweet, and handsome, not that funny, though. And all of his friends that I've met are douchebags."
Wilbur nods and stays silent, as if wanting me to say more.
"I found out yesterday that he's been telling a lot of people that we, like, constantly have sex and that I'm a freak."
"What the hell?" Wil asks, leaning back in his seat.
I shrug. "I mean, I confronted him about it and he apologized. It was still pretty annoying. I just don't want to have a fight."
"I get that." Wilbur sweeps his hair to the side, brushing it out of his eyes, then suddenly smiles. "Remember when you were in London and you, Ryan, Sofia, and I went to that coffee shop at, like, midnight? Then, I don't even remember what you said, but it made Ryan laugh so much that he pissed himself? And Sofia was laughing so hard at him, that she did the same?"
I giggle and nod, pressing my forehead into my hand. "Oh, I completely forgot about it. Didn't we get kicked out, and they had to walk all the way back to the place we rented with soaked jeans?"
We're both laughing as Wilbur nods. "That was a weird night."
"Those few months were so fun." I say, and Wilbur grins at me.
"They really were."
As we're just staring at each other, the waitress comes and hands us our check. Wilbur quickly gets out his wallet and pays, which makes me feel bad since he just spent so much on groceries.
We leave, and we're silent the whole ride back, just the radio playing. Thankfully, Milo is sleeping where we left him, and we put away all the groceries after multiple trips.
I watch from the couch as Wilbur wakes him and feeds him, then he sits down with me. The exhaustion is finally catching up to me as I rest my head on his shoulder.
"Do you ever miss me?" He whispers. "What we had in London?"
I sigh and close my eyes. "I didn't until you came here, and I remembered how handsome you were. And funny. And nice. But then I remember that I have a boyfriend, and the feelings get pushed away."
"If you weren't with Oliver, would you have gotten back with me?"
I shrug. "I guess. Probably."
Wilbur stays silent for a minute, then starts slowly running his hand through my hair, which he knows I love. "I'm still in love with you, Ellie Rose."
"I know,"
"Do you even love him?"
I honestly hate how he's questioning my relationship so much. It's really none of his business. But I guess I'm too tired to argue. "I think it's still too early for me. But he's said that he loves me. And I said it back."
"Oh,"
"He also wanted to have sex last night, but we didn't. I didn't want him to do it just because I got upset with him. I guess I'm also a bit scared, since you're the only one I've done that with."
"Why do you even like him?" His whisper suddenly sounds a bit harsh.
"I told you. He's cute and sweet. Takes me out on nice dates."
"I'm cute and sweet. I took you out on nice dates. Plus, I'm funny. And I wrote you an album."
"But you live in London, Wil." I sit up and look at him, a frown on his face.
He just shrugs. "But I'm here now.
"But you're too late." I tell him, and stand up. "Thanks for the meal."
"Ellie,"
I ignore him and grab my keys. I give Milo a pet goodbye, then head out to my car, where I finally let the tears stream.
Why can't I have them both?
