Save me (1D fan fic)

Chapter 12

Liam had been the first to arrive at my house.

As we sat on my couch it was then I had decided to let Liam know What happened with my "best friends" since we're here alone. I'm sure he'll notice at the party anyways.

"Uhh Liam?" I said.

"Yes love?"

"I think it's time I told you what happened with Zayn and Alice" I paused. "But promise me you won't say anything, at least not tonight."

"Fine I won't say anything tonight. But I most definitely will tomorrow. Because I know it must be bad. I just know, cause if it wasn't you wouldn't have been avoiding them."

"There's no stopping you huh?"

"Nope, not when it comes to you."

I slightly smiled that was sweet, and should've made me feel warmer inside yet I still felt empty. "Well the other night, I went to Alice's house. And she was crying, she told me to read a message. And when I read it all I could think was 'I'd do what ever it takes not to lose him' the message said" I paused looking down. Feeling that stabbing pain right where my heart is. "It uh basically.. said he was gonna kill himself. He asked her why wouldn't she give him the time of day. And I just couldn't bare the thought of him doing something like that. So I told her to go out with him. I told her that's the only thing that could make him happy again. Because I c- can't. I never did. He hardly cares about me or my feelings. Because you know what? If he did He wouldn't have been flirting right in front of me. Touching her as much, knowing it's still A SENSITIVE SUBJECT. W-WHAT DID HE THINK ID FORGET THAT EASILY?! I- I di- didnt. And n-now I'm stuck watching them Together. I'm stuck" I began crying.

"No no don't cry" Liam hugged me. "Please don't.. don't cry. I hate seeing you so sad. It'll be okay, I'm here jade. I'm here. I'll always be here."

"But it's no fair to you Liam." I said. "I really like you. So much. But I'm not even capable of giving you my all at the moment. And you probably think I'm using you and trust me that is not the case. Everything I've ever told you has been true. And I wish I could just get over it already! I wish I could give you all of me"

"I know how you feel, it's the same for me Jade. I wish I could give you everything I have in me. Things just take time and with all these feelings we have for each other we'll get over them. Together okay? And we'll be able to be together and be HAPPY"

"Okay" I smiled sadly trying to believe that was the truth. "I'm so lucky to have you."

"So am I Jade." He hugged me tighter.

"You can't tell Zayn about me telling her to date him. And about him trying to kill himself. Pretend you dont know about that part" I whispered.

"I won't babe"

"Now I look all ugly" I laughed humorless. "My makeup is probably ruined."

"You still look just as beautiful" Liam kissed my forehead. Then the tip of my nose and down to my lips.

"Uh are we interrupting something?" Zayn asked.

I didn't turn around. "Not a word" I mouthed to Liam. He shook his head. I ran upstairs not wanting them to see I was crying.

"Pull yourself together Jade" I whispered to myself.

I stood in front of the mirror. I feel so much hatred towards myself. So much. Everything about me is disgusting. Everything that happens is my fault. If only someone knew what truly goes on inside my mind. I can relate to how Zayn felt because it's rare when I actually want to be alive. But see I still try, and try only to get knocked down over and over again. When will I finally get to be happy?! I don't want to be here anymore. I cried to myself. I don't. I finally found enough strength to get up and fix myself up. I 're did my makeup and went downstairs.