One True Queen: A Wings of Fire fanfiction

24.

Content warning: depictions of panic attacks, exhaustion, cults, blood in a vision, and Gaze generally not having a good time

Gaze

This is all my fault.

My lungs burn, and my weary wings ache as I fly against the wind, squinting at the sun from the corner of my eye, remembering what Serenity used to say--sun rises in the east, sets in the west. So if Ocotillo is to the west of the castle, I just have to fly towards the sun. But I keep getting it in my eyes and flailing around in the air like an idiot, berating myself for wasting time because Shadowhunter and Permafrost could be dead right now, and I'm betting on my own substandard abilities being better-suited to save them than the literal most powerful dragons in Pyrhhia. Because I am arrogant and stubborn, and far too self-reliant, and--

Breathe, I think Clearsight would say. It's just a panic attack. It'll pass. You're in control, Gaze--even if you don't feel like it.

I can see the town at the very edge of the horizon--its gleaming fences, the big, blue oasis glinting off the sky.

Just a little further. I close my eyes, fighting back tears. Just get to Ember—she'll help.

She knows about as much as we do, if not less, but she will help you. At the very least, she'll let you look at that map.

She has to.

I let out a yelp of pain as another vision hits me, sending me plummeting towards the ground: Permafrost, staring down in horror as a tattoo needle stabs into her forearm, seeming to move of its own volition. That can't be good.

It's not happening yet, I remind myself. You can still prevent it.

Just keep flying, Gaze.

You can do this.

***

I haven't had a chance to stop and eat all day--so I find the first food stall I can see at the market, and buy three kabobs, which I devour in a few bites. My stomach growls, and I wash it down with the last of my water. (I'll need to stop and refill later.) The spots in my vision slowly dissipate, and the flashes of visions seem to soften a bit. (Shadowhunter frantically shouting at a glass bowl, Clearsight and Darkstalker laughing hysterically as they throw snowballs at the Great Ice Cliff, Clearsight shivering in a blizzard, her husband wrapping his wings tight around her). I guess being really exhausted and absolutely starving probably isn't helping to calm me down.

The shopkeeper raises her eyebrows. " What's a dragon like you doing around here." She squints at me. "Hey, are you that weird NightWing girl who caused a ruckus a few days ago?"

I freeze. "Oh--um, no, I'm just... you know. Travelling. Around. Seeing the sights. Doing the things. My friend lives here, I'm just stopping by to visit her..." Once I start, I can't stop talking. "Her name's Ember, do you know where she lives? She's got sorta warm orangey-brown scales, about this tall--" I hold my talon up in the air to indicate.

The shopkeeper frowns, her suspicions seemingly vanished. "Oh. Um... shoot, I know who you're talking about... I think she's on Cholla Avenue--northwest from here, really far from the oasis?" She scratches her head. "Or at least, she used to be. It's this tiny little place, with a bunch of echeveria in the window box? Just ask one of the neighbours if I've got that wrong, everyone around here knows each other--not many dragons stick around the whole year, so." She shrugs.

"Right. Okay. Um... thank you." I give her a weak smile.

"Good luck!" she waves her goodbye, smiling back as I rush through the crowd in search of my friend.