One True Queen: A Wings of Fire fanfiction

34.

Content warning: murder, fight scenes, gore, political conflict and war, hostage situations, Snowfox's spectacularly awful parenting and relationship skills, discussions of genocide

Snowfox

Feathers hates it here—he keeps flying around camp, and pecking random dragons. (Not even the right dragons! I still haven't gotten to training him to attack Carmen and Pearl yet.) So I've noticed, it's been taking him longer and longer to deliver my letters to Snowflake, with a few days break in the Ice Kingdom—back where he belongs. To be honest, I do miss having him around, but I don't blame him. If I could fly home for a few days and rest, I would too.

So when he shows up on my shoulder first thing in the morning with a scroll tied to his foot, I'm pleasantly surprised. He keeps pecking at me and screeching loudly, as he sometimes does to wake me up.

I sigh, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and grabbing a small knife to cut the letter loose from his little talon. "Thank you, Feathers. Good boy." I wonder who it's from--I did leave some of my council back home, so maybe them? Or... could it be... no, I'm not going to get my hopes up.

He lets out a gratified squawk, and flies up to his perch with a few powerful wingstrokes, fluffing his feathers proudly. I yawn, unrolling the scroll. The rounded, easily readable cursive makes me take in a sharp breath. I'd recognize Snowflake's handwriting anywhere.

She wrote back. I look away, a smile spreading across my snout. Snowflake wrote back!

Finally.

Maybe Feathers couldn't figure out where she was--maybe she's just been super busy being queen, and she didn't have the time to write me.

Even though I've always found the time, no matter how busy I've been. Whatever's going on back home, it can't be worse than the war--right?

I take a deep breath, shaking out my wings. Okay, Snowfox. Stop acting like a sappy dragonet and read the damn letter.

Dear Fox,

You asked in your last letter how I was handling a job I am utterly unprepared for being thrust on me by a dragon I thought was the love of my life? Who I've spent the past twenty-four years waiting to be reunited with, only for the moment we saw each other again, her to act like a total jerk, and fly off without me to fight some made-up war no one asked her to fight?

Well, let's see. My only daughter has vanished without a word. My life's work. She could be dead, for all I know. And I am all alone, in this massive castle, where nobody respects my name. There's never been a Queen-Regent who wasn't part of the royal family before. I think you can imagine how they're handling that.

No, they're nice to my face. They bow and beg and kowtow to my every whim, but it's fake loyalty, only there because I send anyone who slights me off in exile without a second thought, the same way they did me. Hope you don't mind, your council chamber might be a little bare when you get home. But you can't scare dragons into liking you. And I see the way they look at me, I hear the whispers when they think I'm not listening.

I've tried to ignore it. I have tried to be strong, for you. But I'm fed up of this. It's been months, and with every letter, you promise that you're coming home soon--but it's just words, isn't it? Because you never do. And you never will. Is it because I'm not good enough for you? Not pretty enough, not strong enough, not ruthless and cunning like you?

How many times will I come up short? Not good enough for Arctic--not good enough for stupid Wolverine--I could handle that. Because I never really loved either of them anyway, no matter how hard I tried to. All I ever wanted was you, Snowfox--and you don't even care. I bet you're off gallivanting around with one of your advisors, or a high-ranking soldier right now. I bet you don't tell her about the things you promised me. I bet she's tough, and gorgeous, and she nods along to everything you say.