One True Queen: A Wings of Fire fanfiction

54.

Snowfox

"You're a bad mother." Polar says it softly—like he's scared of what I'll say back.

It takes me a moment to process the words. We're up to our talons in ice-cold water, swirling around in frantic currents.

"What?" I hiss, almost on instinct. This is how our conversations normally go; he strikes, I strike back, he deflects and I counter. Before we know it, we've started a war.

Maybe I made a mistake, raising him for the battlefield.

"I said you're a bad mother," he says more firmly, looking up to meet my eyes. I freeze. It's not the worst he's said to me—but I've never seen him so calm. So decided.

A cold, sinking feeling crawls through me. I can feel this moment freezing in my mind.

His shoulder is bleeding, and there's another gash along his side. He's covered in burn scars, some fresh and some new, and burnt, blackened scales wind their way up his talons. He's lost weight since the last time I saw him, and he looks like he hasn't slept in days.

I don't think I've ever seen a dragon look so pitiful.

For once, I don't know how to counter his insult. What ugly words to fire back.

He turns away. I can see him struggle to take flight—so injured, so tired, this close to giving up.

"Polar—" I start, something foreign rising up in my throat. I stop myself. There's nothing I can say that will make this better. I'm not an idiot.

***

"This is the biggest scandal our tribe has seen since Prince Arctic," I say, burying my face in my talons. I've always been good at strategy—surrounding the enemy on all sides, cornering them on a tiny piece of land. But changing minds in my favour? I don't really know a thing about that.

"When Polar comes back, I'm going to wring his little neck out. Does he know the mess he's made for me? This tribe is already losing faith, there's only so much I can do! And now he's just proven Darkstalker right. Does he know how bad this looks?!"

Snowflake stares back at me, unimpressed.

"How did you not see this coming?"

"What are you talking about?" I glare at her.

"How deep is your head in the snow right now, Fox? This has been brewing for months. If you didn't know how to deal with it, then you should have disposed of him. Sent him away to some backwater, where the damage would be contained. You can't play both sides."

"He's my son. I wouldn't do that," I say automatically.

She raises her eyebrows. "Really?"

"Well, you're no better!" I retort, digging my claws into the ground. I don't care if the guards can hear us shouting; I've got no reputation left to lose.

No, Snowfox. That's not a good path to go down.

"I never said I was, you egotistical nightmare!" she snaps. "I never said I was any better! I never said I knew what was right! You're the one who acts like you're superior."

Tears well up in her eyes, and my heart twists. Just a bit. I am so tired of screaming. (Screaming at the medics to get everyone who was injured to the palace medical wing, screaming at my soldiers to get on with it, start helping, screaming at my council, at my son, hearing it over and over and over—)