CONSPIRACY: THE THIRD WORLD

Chapter Nine│Lullabies

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“I still search for you in crowds,
in empty fields and soaring clouds.
In city lights and passing cars,
on winding roads and wishing stars.”
— Lang Leav, Lullabies

                                              ---Chapter Nine---

Days were long and nights were even longer. She had a constant tightening in her chest, so much that she felt asphyxiated most of the time. She was working as a receptionist in a company that manufactured water purifiers and she had multiple panic attacks in a span of two weeks in her office. She would have a seizure, and would fall on the ground and lie unconscious. During that time she would have a vision of a golden deer being attacked by two black wolfish dogs. She did not know what to make out of that repeated vision.

Her boss had called her in and asked her to resign with an apologetic smile as she was proving to be insufficient and practically disturbing her co-workers as well. She was shattered, but nonetheless, signed the resignation letter. She was given a month's salary and a false statement that she would be hired again when she was mentally stable.

Ved had left that same day and had called a few times. She talked little, saying she was busy at the moment when actually she was falling in a life-size pit of despair, anxiety and frustration. Every little thing was depressing and annoying her, every little thing was killing her a little inside. Ved got the hint that she was trying to steer clear of him and had not called since. It was bothering him too and he was afraid she might board a train for Uttar Pradesh all by herself. She was planning that too.

In the morning, she woke up abruptly, sweating and out of breath. She had the same vision again and this time those dogs were too close to catch the golden deer. Panting, she held onto her pendent for a little while, then grabbed the glass of water kept on the side table and thirstily gulped it down. The burden was too much for her to take now.

She got down and picked up her laptop. Switching it on, she opened the web page. Trains from Dehradun to Bhagalpur she typed.

"So if I am not doing it for Him," she angrily said to herself, "I am doing it for myself and for the sake of some sanity."

She clicked on the Indian railway site. Checking the seats for reservations took the wind from her sails; all the compartments were full for the whole week.

The door bell rang and she shuddered in surprise. Keeping her laptop down, she stared at the clock. She was stunned to realize that it was eight in the morning. She shook her head; she should not be getting up late because she was missing the morning meditation daily and was not even near to tame her ability.

Groaning audibly, she slipped on to the floor and headed out her room. It must be the women that delivered the milk; she always came at the most inopportune moments. Pulling together the loose stands of her hair and tying them in a ponytail, she unlocked the front door.

“Namaste,” the lady said, handling the container

“Namaste,” Ekaa replied

“Is everything alright?”

“Oh, yes”

“Does not look like…”

“It’s nothing.”