𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 {𝘨𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳} ʙᴏᴏᴋ 2

Help To Feel Better

We had just finished breakfast and Gally was still outside talking with everyone and catching up with the gladers. I was just sat on our bed with my legs over the edge and my head in my hands.

I had just found the envelope from Newt and now it sat on the table in front of me, begging to be opened, but i couldn't bring myself to it. My heart shattered every time I thought about him. But I also couldn't leave it, he wouldn't want that. He wrote it, so I would read it. I have to.

I snatched it off the wooden table and slowly cracked open the seal, revealing a letter written in Newt's untidy hand writing. I sucked in a breath before beginning to read.

dear y/n,

god, i wish i had a nickname for you. the boys and i had talked about and joked about it back at the glade but none of us could come up with a good one. it made us all so happy when you called us the stupid nicknames you created each and every one of us. minho will probably hate to admit it but he liked it, possibly even loved it, when you called him 'min min'. now, use that information however you like.

Tears were already spilling.

i remember when ben, fry and i had to try and convince the new greenies that you could actually be serious and that you weren't always making jokes. but the only times you were ever really serious was when it came to gally. bloody hell, you defended that boy so much when anyone made fun of him. take tommy for example, you shut him straight down when he disliked gally. you were always loyal and hopefully you'll stay that way. you better do.

i've known you for as long as i can basically remember. you're one of my closest friends, my best friend. and it pains me so shucking much to say this but i won't always be there with you. i'm writing this because i'm probably not there right now. i'm probably, most likely, gone.

Whole waterfalls were streaming from my eyes.

look after him. tommy, i mean. after all those times we told him to look after you, now you should return the favour. for me. i never got the chance to tell him about my feelings. i've wrote a letter for him as well, but i feel like admitting my feelings once i'm already gone will upset him more. so, please, don't tell him. but don't just look after tommy. look after them all.

i hope the safe haven is everything we'd dreamt and talked about. i can see it now. lovely weather but not too warm. big, tall trees full with bright green leaves. colourful flowers everywhere. i wish i could be there with you but there's nothing we can do.

also, don't beat yourself up too much, actually, don't beat yourself up at all over my death. don't blame yourself and don't let anyone else blame themselves. i know after gally supposedly died that you blamed yourself for months. please, don't do that now. it's no ones fault other than the worlds.

we always used to talk about how we would spend our future if we weren't stuck in a maze. you used to say that you wanted you and gally to be living in a cottage with a few kids in a pretty place. i hope you get that. i used to say that i wanted to just be free. and i got that. yes, we weren't free, free. but it was away from the maze.

y/n, i love you so so much. you've been my best friend and we've shared the best memories together. i'm sorry i'm leaving now. i didn't even get to see you and gally grow up. feel free to write short letters back to me just to make you feel better. :)

i wish you all the best of luck. and hopefully you'll be free from wicked and safe. that's all i've ever wanted for us all. now, it's coming true. anyway, i better go. once again, i love you.