Justice for Jennette | wmmap

9- If only

If only it was actually like that.

Jennette was 10. 3 years after her reincarnation. And the second time she invited Roger Alpheus for tea, he declined. In fact, he didn't even look at her. Jennette flinched at his demanding voice. She nodded and mumbled a "Yes, sir," before walking off in shame and embarrassment, keeping her head down.

Jennette tried her best to keep her tears from streaming down her face as she walked her way to her room. Unfortunately for her, there were servants everywhere she meant. Which meant they'd be giving her stares and sighs of exhaustion just in an attempt to frustrate her, they'd been doing that a lot lately.

It wasn't as if the previous times it didn't hurt but this time. This time, it stung like hell. Jennette grit her teeth as more tears pricked her eyes. 'Hold it in, Jennette. You just have to make it to your bedroom.' Jennette picked up her pace and her sorrow seemed to worsen as she could hear 2 maids giggle in their success at making her upset.

'What is wrong with them? I didn't even do anything to them!' But Jennette knew deep down inside, the reason they hated her so much was because they saw her as their primary source of stress release. She was the one who wasn't related. She was the one who was taken in. The one with the nervous and jittery personality.

The one who'd never get mad or been mad in her life. The one who'd always cry whenever someone even slightly hurt her feelings. That's who Jennette was. The wimpy crybaby. And Jennette couldn't change it. 'Why should I have to change for them?' Jennette would often think to herself.

Maybe she should grow some backbone and a stone-cold facade. But Jennette just couldn't bring herself to. Afterall, why did she have to change herself for not doing anything wrong? It was them who made fun of her and shown their exhaustion repeatedly right in front of her. Why did she have to be the one to change?

Jennette only wore 2 pairs of clothing per day, her day-dress and nightgown. She never asked for much food and when she did, it'd be when everyone else was eating. Jennette cleans after herself, offers to help some of the servants with their chores and does the dishes every once and a while.

Especially her tea cups and tea pots. Still, no matter how hard she tried, the servants never changed their attitude towards her. Jennette locked the door behind her as she leaned on the door, trying her best to prevent herself from sliding down. It failed, of course. And she was weeping on the floor, cuddling her knees close to her chest.

"Caw," A loud call could be heard in a corner of her room. Jennette slowly lifted her head to look at the source. It was the crow from the first tea party. A reminder for the one time Roger Alpheus was willing to do anything with her. The crow rattled it's cage, possibly an attempt to get out. Jennette stood up and walked towards the cage.

She pressed her slim finger on the lock, unsure of whether or not she wanted-no, could let go of the winged animal. "Are you...going to leave me too?" Jennette sniffled. The crow looked at her finger on the lock. Jennette narrowed her eyes. "I won't allow you to. You were the one who stuck around...I let you go so many times...but you stayed. This is the outcome of that," she told with a stoic tone.

'This doesn't seem right,' Jennette flinched. Her conscience finally returning to her. 'This bird should have it's own freedom. I shouldn't lock it up in a cage just because I'm...a coward.' Jennette rationalised. She hesitantly removed the lock on the cage and opened it. The crow tip-toed towards her.

Jennette caressed the crow in her palms, bringing it out of it's cage in the process. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me, you're allowed to leave if you'd like," Jennette said with a gentle smile. But deep down, she knew she was begging the bird not to leave, that the bird would stay again.

Fortunately for her, it did. It stayed in the palm of her hand looking up at her, it's gaze never wavering. Jennette's eyes softened. "Thank you," she sobbed, her tears still overflowing. 'At least someone won't leave me.' She thought to herself gratefully. 

She held the crow close for hours on end before eventually falling to sleep.

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WAIT PEOPLE STILL READ THIS OH WOW IM SO SORRY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THIS UH DW ILL TRY AND CONTINUE THIS BEST I CAN??? also apparently back then I had more plans for this draft but I don't really know where I was going with this. I got a hunch tho