My life with Thomas Brodie Sangster

My Last Words

It doesn't matter where I am, or who I am around, I always feel that in some way, somwhow,  I am inferior. I don't belong. I am either too fat, or not smart enough, ort oo awkward. I do not feel like my friends truly except me. I do not think that anyone will ever accept me the way that I need, to feel like I belong. I am a fangirl because the only lives I think are worth living are the ones I just can't have. I have thought about it. Dying. Always wondered if it was worth it to live. Now I know. It isn't. These are my last words. To all my friends and family, I love you all, but in the end, it was not good enough. Its not your fault, there is nothing you couldve done to stop me. Im really sorry. I need to move on, to go somewhere new, and that place just isnt on this earth. I love you all, and I am so sorry. Goodbye, and maybe, just maybe, I might see you again in death, if not now in life. I am Angel Hanson, and these are the last words I will ever say to you. Bye.

 I look at the computer, tears pooling in my eyes. This was it, wasn't it? I go into my parents room and take my Dad's gun. He really should not have taught me how to use it. My mom is out cold, alcohol pouring from a bottle.

I cringe at the smell wafting off of her. My dad is gone, probably at a friend's house. No matter what she does, he is always 100% faithful to her, though heaven knows she doesn't deserve it.

I pull on my jacket and go outside. I sent the emails, posted the message, it was time. I was shaking with the cold by the time I arrived at my school. This was the place where all of these thoughts had began. They deserve to find my body here.

I pull out the note and put it on the ground. I take a deep breath. This is what I want. This is what I have been planning for this whole time. I slowly pull out the black metal and look at it. Strange how something so small is so dangerous, can cause so much pain.

I cock the gun. Point it at my belly. I want to feel the pain before I die. I want to die slowly. Just as I pull the trigger, an unfamiliar voice shouts "NO!!!" I fall to the ground, blood pouring out of the wound.

A strange boy I don't know enters my vision. "Why?" He moves and I hear him call 911. "Hi, I am at Cold Creek High School, a girl just shot herself."

I reach out a hand, not surprised to see it covered in blood. "Please. Just leave me. This is what I want." The boy holds me and I see that he is wearing makeup. "What are you, gay?" He laughed and sobbed at the same time. "No, I am straight, just have better fashion sense than most."

I hear sirens and glare at this boy, this stupid boy who saved my life. "NO! You moron! Why do you think I shot myself?! Leave me alone."

Men and Women in white clothes pick me up and the last thing before I black out is the strange boy in feathers and makeup holding his hand up, like he is waving.

A/N Thats not my name, but Im not putting my real name on the internet. Also, several of these people are real, since this is sort of based on my life as much as possible except not really, now that I think about it.

A/N also, I am going to be editing these first couple chapters.