TRIGGER ALERT!!!! This mentions cutting, so read at your own descretion.
Angel's POV
It was all so much. Every single moment was a weight pressing down on my back. I start breathing really heavily and my eyesight seems to dim. No one is home with me so I run into the bathroom.
One week since my conversation with Audrey. One week since my mind started getting fuller and fuller with bad things.
Its August 7th. School starts on Monday. I start breathing heavier and i sit down, not being able to keep myself up any longer. My head starts to spin and I clutch it, tears spilling out of my eyes.
I have no control. I desperately look around for something to help me. Anything. My eyes scan the pill bottles but I shake my head. Then, they land on my stepdad's razor. I've never self harmed before, but its looking like more and more of a tempting option.
With hands shaking, I slowly reach out and grab it, removing the blade from the rest of the razor. I stand up and lean over the sink. I swallow and in what seems like slow motion, i slowly run the blade over my wrist lightly, drawing blood.
I inhale sharply at the pain but do it three more times before cleaning the razor and putting it away. Before I bandage myself up, I look at them. Four clean, sharp, controlled cuts on my arm. I feel a strange sense of relief and I sigh.
I wrap the bandage around my wrist and clean up the bathroom. I then lay in my bed, texting Thomas. He is the only person I could ever think about telling.
Angeldabosschild: Tom, what if you did something bad, but you really enjoyed it? Hypothetical question.
Tommythefabulous: Depends on what you did. Did you hurt someone else?
Angeldabosschild: No... but it...I just know I shouldn't
Tommythefabulous: What did you do?
Angeldabosschild: I...I'm not sure if I want to tell you.
Tommythefabulous: Well, why bring it up?
Angeldabosschild: Because I need your help.
Tommythefabulous: Angel, what in the world did you do?!?!?!
Angeldabosschild: Tommy...
Tommythefabulous:Angel?!!?!?! Please tell me!!!
Angeldabosschild: I just can't!
Tommythefabulous: Well, whatever it is, don't do it again.
Angeldabosschild: Ok, see you
But I knew I would. I enjoyed the feeling of control too much. I know that it is wrong, but I know I will do it again.
I go back into the bathroom and take the blade out and hide it, taping it to the bottom of my jewelry box.
I know that my parents never look there. I know how to hide it. I pull out all of the long sleeve shirts that I own and put them at the front of my closet.
After I am done, I am overtaken with an extreme sense of sadness and loneliness. I curl up in a ball in the far corner of my room and silently cry.
I have no idea why I feel like this, but I need to stop. I take the blade back out and make three more slices on my other arm.
I clean up once more and put all of my supplies away. I can barely breathe. Nothing is working. I curl up in a ball and cry.
Thomas' POV
I start panicking the moment I put my phone down. My mind instantly turns towards several worst case scenarios.
Starving herself, cutting, starting on drugs or alcohol, I don't know. I call Audrey.
"Hey, Audrey, has Angel been talking to you at all recently?" I say as calmly as I can manage.
"Yeah, why?" "Because she has been acting really weird, sending me weird texts and stuff."
"Don't worry about it, she's fine, she's just been hurting a little bit lately and she is really stressed out about school."
"Are you sure?" I ask. I'm more relaxed now. If Audrey thinks that she's okay, then she is. "Yes, I am, I promise."
I sigh. "Okay." I hang up and lay on my bed. I really hope she is okay. She is just so volatile. I never know if she is alright.
"I love you, Angel." I whisper. I love you.
A/N
Okay, so in case you were wondering, this is taken from my personal experience in cutting and depression. I actually triggered myself while writing this, because it is such a huge part of my life.
On a happier note, the votes are at
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