it all started with a cappuccino

i guess i have to let you go

JENNIE

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA
11:28 AM

“things won't always go the way
we want it to be. And that's alright.”

—————

"What do you mean you rejected her?" Jisoo asked for the fifth time today, "I don't get it. You just said you like Lisa, too. Why?"

"Sometimes, liking somebody isn't an enough reason to pursue a relationship together. There are other circumstances where the other isn't ready yet," Rosie interjected. 

And that Rosie speech fella, was coming from the heart, "Exactly, thank you so much, Rosie."

We were sitting on a bistro just around my school for lunch, after the two of them must've heard from Lisa herself about the talk we had. It was nearly two weeks since then, and I haven't crossed path with her yet. Or maybe it was intentional for me to avoid her, a little.

"Jen, this is Lisa we're talking about. She's like the top tier in situations like this. She will take care of you, I'm sure of that," Jisoo persuaded.

"I know, Chu. I know she will. But it's not her, it's me. I know, cliché and all but that's true. I have never loved anyone yet, and all the ones I've loved left me or abandoned me. Jisoo, I have this fear within me that --" Jisoo interrupted,

"That she'll Leave you? Hell, you know she never will!"

"That I'll break her, Jisoo. I'm too broken and too messy for her, I can't do this with her."

"I still don't get it, but you do you I guess." Jisoo shrugged as she bit on her chicken.

After about thirty minutes, Jisoo decided to go ahead since she have schedules for the rest of the day that leaves me and Rosie to go out for ice creams, "You know I feel like you're relating my situation to your own." I said,

Rosie laughed as she ate her ice cream, "What makes you say so?"

"Well for starters, I know very well that you're inlove with Jisoo." I said and Rosie rolled her eyes, "Come on, even a blind one could tell."

"Well maybe I am, maybe Lisa and I are just two peas in a pod who's hopelessly inlove with someone we can't have," she shrugged,

I frowned and looked down, trying to realize how messy love makes everything, "Yeah, I guess so."

"Unnie, at the end of the day, it's still your decision. And if Lisa isn't the one now, then there's nothing wrong with that, follow your heart Jenjen."

After we got ourselves the ice cream, I decided to go home to start with my studies again. Ryujin and the others are quite nagging me to come and visit them at the coffee shop but my schedule couldn't allow me so, I was starting to think that they were sulking over it.

Nearly two hours into my studying, I heard a knock on the door. Quite annoyed that someone broke my study bubble I stomped my way into the front door. Peeping on the hole, I was startled to see Lisa herself. Before opening the door, I composed myself. Thinking about what to say and what not to say.

"Hi, you're here." I said as I opened the door. Lisa gave me a smile and showed the donuts she brought as I opened the door wider for her to come inside.

"Sorry I didn't warn you I'll be coming over. Last minute decision."

"No worries. Take a seat, I'll just get plates for us." I said and left for the kitchen. My whole body was trembling of nervousness. I wasn't sure what to expect of her presence, will we talk about it again? Will we fight?

I swept all those thoughts on the back of my mind and sat down in front of her again with plates in my hand as she placed the donuts on each of it, "Sorry I was MIA for awhile."

"No worries, I understand."

For the next ten minutes, we were quiet. All I could ever think about was the talk that was about to occur in no less than five minutes. Or Lisa who was seated in front of me munching on her donut with her eyes on her lap, "So, what brought you here?" I broke the ice.

Lisa looked up to me and it was quite evident that she was startled, "Oh yes, well I have been thinking about things..." she said, "And I wanna apologize for what occurred the last time we were together. I didn't mean to sound out quite aggressive and I'm sorry for my attitude,"

"No, it was fine. I'm sorry." I said,

"And the past weeks we weren't together I have thought about a few things. Like I said pursuing a career right? Well, I did look into University applications locally and abroad. I received a few emails back."

"Hey wow! That's good news!" I said,

"Yeah it is actually," she gave me a happy smile, "And one of those I applied to, is in Greece."

"Oh," I said, realizing where this was heading off to.

"The pay was good. I checked the University out in the internet and the environment was awesome." she explained,

"That's good. So are you taking it? I mean, you could just stay and teach around Korea but if you wanna fly international then why not, right?" I tried to sound optimistic.

"Oh, well, I took the Greece application. I think the new career will do me good, the new environment as well. It would be good for me, you know?" she said.

I looked down, unaware of what to expect, "Lisa?" I called out, "Please tell me you're not leaving because of what happened with us,"

Lisa gave me a smile and placed the donut down, "Maybe just a little bit? But I promise more of the decision is because I really do need to grow out of my comfort. I think Greece will do me good."

Despite the evident sadness in my eyes and the tear I was trying to hold on, "If that's what you want and would make you happy. Why not?" I smiled before my tears started dripping down and Lisa stood up to give me a hug, "Lisa, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

"Hey, shh. It's not your fault. We're still good, right? We will still communicate, I'll just be miles away but you will always have me. Okay?" she asked and I nodded.

We ended up calling Jisoo and Rosie over who both cried at what Lisa just said. It would be much harder for them since they knew Lisa better than I do, but it will be hard for all of us to lose a friend.

So we spent the rest of the night drowning ourselves in sorrow and pain, not sure of what was to come for tomorrow.