||- tough love -||

S 1 - ep 14

I took a deep breath as i gulped turning around...

Cassian.
Of course its got to be him out of anyone...
Though they probably knew me and ethan had something going on, i still felt guilty for hiding it..

"Go on Rory tell him"
Ice said in a pissed tone as cassians eyes daggered into mine..

"N-nothing"
I said as i walked past the both of them

"Rory!"
Yelled ice in a tone my dad usually would

Within seconds i picked up my pace and ran upstairs.
This isnt right.
Me and ethan cant happen.
Never.

I bursted into my room seeing ethan on my chair.
I assumed he heard everything so i sighed.
But no.
No.
Just no.
We cant happen.
Ever.

"Ethan..."
I said as he looked back at me

"Hm?"
He said in a response

"I'm sorry but.....i know this is going to seem so stupid of me just giving u hope and then ruining everything but i cant.....we just cant be ethan.
I'm sorry okay.
We cant ever be anythIng more than just friends.."
i said as i felt abit more relieved

"What."
Ethan said in a harsh tone

"What do you mean nothing more than friends?!?
Your telling me this was all just a game to you?"
He said..
But i cant.i just cant be with someone i dont even have feelings towards.
Not even sexual attraction in the slightest.
It was all just a game between my two fingers but i couldn't tell him or i would hurt him but i also cant be with him because iT isnt right...

"Ethan just go. Forget about tomorrow and all the plans just go okay"
I said as he looked at me with disbelief flooding his face

"Just go? Really ry"
He said as i nodded but he just stayed in place

"Go ethan! Just go! This was never meant to happen okay!"
I shouted at i opened the door to my new room as he just aggressively grabbed his phone

"Fuck you aurora.
I did absolutely everything for you, is this really what i get in return.
Fuck you and your love Rory"
He said as he stormed out the room and sooner I heard the door slam shut which i assumed he left.

I fell on my knees as the palm of my hands were trying to keep my head up high,

I got a boyfriend for a few hours? Wow..
Just a few hours.
It kind of makes me laugh but yet full of  hatred

I hate it.
Everything about my life.
Me.
Everyone else.
Everything
Love isnt and never will be real.
Never.
You may try to trick yourself into thinking its real but no.
Love is just a cover name for melancholy

God what was i doing with my life.
I cant just play with everyone like that...
Especially not my closest friend..
I really am cruel but why don't
i feel bad anymore..
i in fact feel reliefed.
I no longer have to force myself to do anything.
just a few seconds ago i felt so bad but now i feel angry? What am i doing with myself.

There it was.
An ice cold tear streaming down my face from, frustration.
Omgg! I can't even control what i feel.

Luckily everyone was still downstairs so no one would hear me But they would defiantly notice that ethan left.

There i was within four walls caving into my souls as my tears were on the edge of suffocating me to my own death.

"You really letting him get to you?"
Said an unfamiliar yet soothing voice.