Fading (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction; Sequel to Pretending)

Chapter 24: Him

It's really kind of weird to somehow think that I woke up in a good mood today but I actually did. I don't know, it just happened that the moment my eyes opened, I smiled right away. Maybe because I had a good breakfast, or maybe I took a nice shower this morning, or maybe it's just that the sun is in the sky and I think that today is going to be extremely glorious for me. I don't understand but I haven't felt this for a long time. And to be honest, I like it. I mean, who wouldn't want to wake up in a good mood?

"I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day! When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May!" I sang along next to the song playing from the radio on my car, my hands tapping next to the beat on my steering wheel. I bopped my head with my sunglasses on my face, and a smile plastered on it since this morning.

"Dude," Luke started talking. "Are you on crack?"

I turned to look at him, then set my eyes back on the road again. I flashed another smile, then kept my head bopping next to the beat. I can feel Luke's eyes looking at me oddly, and I can't help but laugh at how he's reacting at what I'm doing.

"My Girl's a jam," I stated, a little laugh escaping my mouth. "It feels weird not to sing along."

Luke turned his head away from me, shaking it. I heard him laugh, and I guess I know why he asked if something's going on with me. I haven't been this giddy for such a long time, I suppose. I don't know, really. Maybe My Girl's just a mood lifter and I'm just taking advantage of the song. And besides, is it too bad that I just think that today's going to be great for me?

I kept singing along to the song as I drive our way to the beach, for our first shoot for the upcoming book about the band. Well to be honest, if my opinion would really matter, I don't want it. I mean... punk ass bands don't make books that are "summer themed" just because our name has summer in it. I suppose Glenn still see us as one of those famous boy bands these days, when apparently, we're not. We're a rock band, not a bubble gum pop boy group. Green Day, All Time Low, Sleeping With Sirens, like that. That's what we want to be but I guess Glenn's just being eaten by fame that everything in him is just about business and not the real good music anymore. Sucks that we are being manipulated and we can't do anything about it, about everything. Especially me, fuck.

At the thought of All Time Low, another sudden thought crossed my mind that made me smile absentmindedly. I remember those days were I always dream about meeting them and be able to sing with them, and just two months ago we were able to hang out with them and even write kick ass songs together. Damn, dream come true, eh? I remember the first time I saw them live; it was indeed the best night of my life. I smiled again, remembering everything. I can still remember how happy she was for seeing them live. How she tip toed just to glanced at Rian, and how she danced along to the band she loves the most while hearing them play live. I remember how we made dreams about meeting them again, and now I wonder if she has any idea that I'm actually friends with our all time favorite band, and I even wrote a song with her lifetime crush. Does she even think of it, of everything? I shook my head. What the fuck am I thinking, really? It's obvious that she doesn't even care about me anymore. And plus, we're on our own roads now. I have my own different life now, and she has hers too.

I pulled over beside Michael's car, I suppose, and I can feel my hands getting cold and sweating as we take out all of our stuff out of my car. This is our first day of work with her as our professional photographer, and even the theme was all her idea and Glenn just went with it, even the entire crew that would manage the book and all that. Luke's mumbling lyrics while listening music from his earbuds and I keep mumbling shit on my own, trying to keep my shit together and stay calm for the entire time that I would be spending again with her. I took my phone out and use it as a sub mirror to check myself out. Here I am again, feeling like I have to impress everyone around me, especially her. I don't know, I don't get it. Anyway, I'm scared. But all in all, I'm excited.