Fading (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction; Sequel to Pretending)

Chapter 29: The Best Friend

Her hand made its way to the back of my neck, pulling me closer to deepen the kiss that is probably starting to ignite her. I kept both of my hands on her waist, trying my best to both support us from falling since I'm apparently still sitting at the edge of my bed, having her sitting on my lap, wearing nothing but her bra and her unzipped pants. Her right hand moved to my sides and started reaching for the ends of my shirt, the slowly reached for my zipper to unzip it down. I let out a light moan in between of the deep kiss that we're both sharing after the arousing feeling of her hands touching slowly stroking me there. I kept my eyes tightly shut, as she unhesitatingly grabbed my spare hand to cup her breast and let me let her lead whatever she wanted me to do with it. I quickly pulled away from the kiss, making the both of us catch our breaths as I take my shirt off in a quick manner. After what seemed like just a matter of second, I grabbed her again by the waist that made her smirk and lay down my bed and continued whatever was slightly interrupted a few seconds ago.

She remained being on top, giving me satisfying pleasures that she can always give me every single time we do this. I kept my eyes closed, my hands all wrapped around her perfectly-made waist as she plant deep kisses all over my jaw and neck, probably leaving marks that I would somehow have to cover up to avoid questions by the morning. I don't even know why I do this though, this entire hooking up thing. It started around last year, or maybe the days where our name could actually be heard and spoken about everywhere. I have always been this guy who never wanted to treat girls like this, but something within me just hit me with a realization that I couldn't even seem to put a finger on. Hot girls just always practically shoving themselves towards me, and I was feeling a lot lonely and stressed with everything that I couldn't seem to stop thinking about so it just happened that one night, I lost my virginity to someone that I can't even remember how she looks like. It kind of worked, that it made me forget that I only wanted to do it once. It suddenly made me feel less of a wimp, and it gave me so much more of the confidence I need about the thought of every girl that I will have around probably likes me. It sounded so pathetic, but it's just one of those things that most men do, most of the guys like me. I've been called a fuck boy, a heartless fuck up jerk and more, but I couldn't even give a single damn about it. I just got a lot satisfied with this entire hook up thing, rather than try to find someone who would actually dare to try and care about me. I just feel like I fail at it. Whenever I try to talk things out with someone, I always end up comparing everything to something better I've had before, that I always end up fucking things up around. Because no matter how much I try, I still couldn't get off the remains of the past out of my head.

I couldn't get rid of her unlike how she effortlessly left everything behind her past.

My eyes shot up quickly, making me take a deep breath at the sudden attack of thoughts about her again. My lips formed into a thin line, and for a little amount of moment there, I almost forgot that Ashley is still laying on top of me, almost naked. I put both of my hands on her shoulder to pull away from her slowly and gently, having confusion painting her face that quick. The moment we both sat back down on my bed, I quickly stood up and grabbed my shirt, then reached for her tank top that was laying on the floor and handed it out to her without even saying a word.

It's actually kind of a mutual thing though. Ashley and I both know that nothing is even going between us. She's pretty, hot, and probably one of those girls that every guy would die for, but I just don't see her the way I'm trying to see her. We only see each other for our needs, and nothing more. I kind of hate to actually see her that way; that one girl who only sees me just to give me my manly needs. I know she could somehow be amazing in some other way, but it just won't happen. Either way, she only sees me as one of her add-ons on her list. She even said I'm her favorite, which I didn't want to hear ever again because of the thought of her having sex with different guys isn't such a turn on for me.