War Zone

•Eighteen•

Third Person's P.O.V. 

6 months later. 

Mackenzie and Aaron work tirelessly at work all day, every day, then come home to plan their wedding. They had an engagement party-which was a big success-lunches and dinners with parents to discuss the wedding arrangements, the whole nine yards. Mackenzie walked up the stairs to their apartment with exhaustion. After a long work shift today all Mackenzie wanted to do was go home and sleep. 

She found herself going straight to the bathroom and stripping down her clothes. She laid in the bathtub for a while, her ears covered under water to drown out the voices in her head. In days like this she craved for Johnny. He was her anchor. She missed him holding her hands and playing with her thumb, she missed when he hugged her and it was like all the weight has been lifted off her shoulder-it was surreal. But it always happened. Hugging Johnny was like being able to say nothing mattered anymore, that all her worries were just her anxiety being spiked. 

She liked Aaron, sure. Mackenzie knew she could fake it enough to get through their wedding pretending to love him as much as  she once loved Johnny. But she wasn't kidding herself. She knew everyone had their one person in their lifetime. The one they knew no matter what they'd choose in a heartbeat, the one they'd run to with every problem, decision, and heartache that they'd be there for her. 

Aaron wasn't much of the touchy type. Not too much of the lovey type either. He kissed her, hugged when deemed necessary, and said affectionate words once in a while. But, there wasn't any of that grand love you want from the movies, none of the soulmate stuff. 

Mackenzie got out of the bathtub, shaking a little from the once was warm water to the now cold as ice water. She looked at herself in the mirror and knew this wasn't enough. She had to go through with the wedding. Johnny is dead. Johnny has been dead for the past two years. She repeated that mantra when her heart played tricks on her, making her fall for the make believe Johnny she thought she saw on a weekly basis. She hadn't gone into details about her relationship with Johnny to Aaron, only that he was an ex that went into the military and passed away. 

Mackenzie hasn't been in contact with Johnny's family in a while. But she did make them invitations to her wedding, she wanted them there. She hasn't talked to Lauren since forever. Mackenzie wore a robe and headed toward the extra room they had in their place. She gathered all of the wedding invitations and decided to send them tomorrow, if Aaron was okay with it. She was pretty sure he would be. 

Mackenzie grabbed one of Johnny's old sweatshirts and went to bed. She felt bad Aaron would have to fend for dinner himself tonight, but she couldn't move right now. She didn't have any motivation or energy left for the day to do anything that involved moving. 

One day, she'll be able to finally say Johnny is gone. 

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Hi. I want to first start of by saying, I am sorry. It's been over a year, I know. After COVID started in the beginning of 2020, things happened. A lot of things happened where I lost control over everything. Especially myself. I lost myself a good few times and it sucks. This summer I had so much planned to get my life together before I start college next month, I did close to nothing on that list. I return to school in less than 3 weeks. Yesterday, I decided I am going to get my shit together, because of course procrastination at its finest. 

Anyways, I have 1 more chapter for this book left and an epilogue. I will aim to upload them within the next week or 2. But, truly I apologize for the crappy book. 

Thank you for all of you who have been with me. I appreciate it so much. Love you. 

Xoxo, Zoey <3