☆*✿THIRTY (30)❀*★

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♪♪I was lost in a lonely place

    Could hardly believe it

    Holding onto yesterday's

    For far, far too long. ♪♪

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ [Laying my love on you] - [Westlife]

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The entire room spun before Kian, forcing his breaths to wheeze out. He sat down slack against his bed with heavy limbs. Everything in the room screamed and glared at him with their miserable appearance that matched how he felt. With the lack of willpower living in him, he had gone numb to the whole situation.

The torn papers by his side mocked him, threatening to stitch themselves back together to taunt him with the information they held. When he woke up from his drifted sleep, the first thing he saw was the calendar reminding him of what day it was.

He couldn't afford to look at the date, didn't deserve to feel sad about it, just miserable for what he did. Scenarios of what could have happened plagued his mind like a record player on repeat, worsening how he felt with every second.

Soft knocking on his room door crashed his serene state. His body groaned at the slight movement he made from the discomfort he felt at the invasion. He didn't need her to speak before knowing who it was. The sparse swelling of his chest at her presence was there, happy yet angry that she remained.

Despite the mixed way he felt, he couldn't bring himself to respond. Though a part of him that was glad she hadn't left as Kristin did, the other part which won the battle time and time again wanted her gone, away from the mess that was his life to save her and himself from any form of heartbreak.

When the strength of the fist against the door increased pace and momentum, Kian realized then that she must have known what day it was. His veins twitched at the thought, and he felt a surge of anger that urged him to respond.

"Leave me alone!"

Though he had felt strong when he responded, his voice croaked out, revealing just how weak he really was.

The silence that followed gnawed at him stronger than the one he was left with as his breath hung up in his mouth at the thought of her actually leaving.

An unexpected release of breath escaped out of him at the sound of her voice not too long after. Her first couple of words bounced over his head as he just listened to her voice, battling with himself internally for feeling the way he was.

As she spoke to him, he could hear frustrations seeping into every word, despite how she tried to hide it.

When silence followed, he listened, wondering why there had a certain change in the atmosphere suddenly. Once she began talking again, the tone grabbed his full attention like no other, making him listen to her words.

"No one can fully comprehend the exact way you feel, Kian..."

Her words held a different weight than those he was used to hearing, and that made him uncomfortable. He shifted from his position and winced at the pain that shot up his body from the sudden movement.

"So what if you killed your father..."

Her words vibrated his very core. Even if those words were a thing he had believed for the past one year, hearing her tell him those words felt so wrong. He felt a certain urge to defend himself, come up with an excuse why it wasn't his fault, and that hit him harder. It was the first time he ever thought of bringing up excuses for that night.

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