Tightrope

Chapter 5

Everything was worse than before.

The mist was even foggier than ever. I could hardly see. I knew I was on that tightrope, and I knew I was already between those two cliffs. The tightrope seemed even thinner than before.

"How am I supposed to see through this fog?" I thought as I tried to squint through the mist, and on the cliff in front of me, I could just barely see the silhouettes of my friends.

Just barely. That was how thick this fog was.

As I tried to walk towards them, I kept regaining and losing my balance.

"I can't keep this up for much longer....I'll fall if I do!" I thought, trying not to worry about falling despite what I just thought.

"Can you see my hand? Take it, Neon!" I heard Yuki say. I started to walk faster on the rope while outstretching my hand, trying to make sure I could grab it when I got close enough.

But once I got close enough to his hand that I could grab it, I lost my balance, and my outstretched left hand hung onto the rope, but I quickly started to lose my grip.

My grip on the tightrope was loosened completely and I began to fall, but someone grabbed my hand.

"I've got you. Don't worry!" I heard Yuki's voice. As he started to pull me up, everything completely changed. The darkness took over again. His grip quickly loosened from my hand and it seemed like I began to fall.

That was until my feet quickly hit the ground, but I was still surrounded by nothing but darkness.

"You're still holding on? That's amazing." Said the darkness as those familiar blue eyes appeared in front of me.

"Shut up. Just what are you trying to do?" I asked it.

"I'm a symbol of your depre-"

"I know that. It's obvious, and it's obvious that you're trying to get me to kill myself. Well, maybe you'll be happy to be informed that I'm considering it." I snapped at it.

"Oh, that makes me so happy."

"How about you just leave me alone and let me live a normal life? I'm sick of living like this." I said as I crossed my arms and looked away.

"Can't do that. As you said earlier, depression can't just go away; it takes time, and some people don't live to see that next day, and while it may go away for some, some people even think it's always there in the back of their minds."

"Yeah, I know, and it sucks that something like this exists."

"Maybe for you, but not for me."

I tried to punch it, but I woke up at that moment. It was daylight, and when I looked over at Kira's bedside, she wasn't there.

"Ugh....I don't want to get out of bed today." I muttered as I rolled over on the left side of my bed, facing the wall and shutting my eyes.

"You never do." I thought.

"I wish I was strong enough to protect my parents when they died that day....was it my fault that they died? Because I was just a young girl who couldn't do anything? Were they supposed to die? I'll never know the answer to these questions.....and maybe it's better living like this.......maybe it was supposed to happen." I muttered out loud, but I guess it was loud enough because I heard a voice behind me, and it wasn't Kira's voice.

"What are you talking about? Up and at 'em, Neon, it just turned twelve o' clock in the afternoon!" Said Himeko from behind me.

I opened my eyes, slowly rolled onto my back, and looked at Himeko.

"It's nothing. When did you get in here, M-I mean, Himeko?" I asked as I lifted my left arm over my eyes.

"I heard you talking to yourself and didn't want to interrupt. What you said was very depressing. Are you okay?" She asked.

I sat up and nodded.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"But I'm not. I don't want to be a burden, and it doesn't help that I'm not good enough for this world."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"What do you want me to say? You can't help me. I'd rather keep it inside than make you worry."

I looked up at her, closed my eyes, and forced a smile onto my face as I faked my confirmation.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

Himeko gave me a look like she didn't believe me, but then she reached down and patted my head.

"Well, if there's ever anything you want to talk to me about, you know where to find me."

Then she turned around and walked out of the room.

I sighed.

"I don't know if I can keep this up for much longer...." I muttered, but decided to get out of bed anyway since I was already sitting up, and I knew Kira would get worried if I laid back down in bed.

Slowly, I got out of bed and pulled out clothes from my drawer. I began to pull them over my body. It was a simple gray sweater and black sweatpants.

Then I walked out of the room and met up with Kira and Himeko in the living room.

"Nice to see you finally up." Said Kira.

I didn't say a word and silently sat at the counter after getting a drink from the fridge.

"Are you hungry?" Kira asked as she sat next to me.

"No."

"Really? But you just got out of bed."

"I'm not hungry." I said as I looked at her with weary eyes, still tired from getting up so late and tired of dealing with my mental struggle.

Kira blinked and then shrugged.

"Well, if you say so...." She muttered, and then got out of the seat next to me. I saw her pull out her phone and I could just barely see her pull up her contacts. I watched as she walked away and began to talk into the phone.

"Looks like she's calling someone. It must be my fault. I just don't want to burden anyone..........I wish Mom and Dad were alive so I wouldn't have to deal with all this...." I thought.

I got up from the seat and stared at the fridge.

"I know I told Kira I wasn't hungry, but maybe I should eat something just so she wouldn't worry....just a snack. But....even if they were alive.....would things be different? Would I be struggling with myself if they were alive like I'm struggling now?"

Whatever the case, I reached into the fridge and pulled out a small piece of pizza which I placed on a small plate and put it in the microwave to heat it up. Himeko must've ordered pizza the other day and Kira and I didn't know it. Sometimes she ends up eating late.

After it was heated up, I took it out of the microwave, closed the door, and put it on the counter. Then I pulled out the glass I had used earlier and poured myself a drink of water, all the while with unwanted thoughts swirling around in my head.

I began to eat my pizza as I tried to ignore my thoughts. I washed off my plate and put it in the gray dishwasher as I put my cup in the strainer.

As I was walking back to my room, I heard the doorbell ring, so I walked towards the wooden, brown door instead that wasn't too far away from me.

When I looked through the peephole, I saw who was standing there. It was a familiar head of white hair.

When I opened the door to confirm my suspicions, I was right.

Standing there, looking me right in the eyes, was my friend Yuki Tachibanna.

End chapter