Tightrope

Chapter 7

Tears were streaming down my face now as I slowly began to hug her back.

"I don't know what to do...." I said through tears. Kira's muscular arms wrapped tighter around me, but of course I could still breathe.

"Tell me what's wrong, Neon."

"....I...I wish....my parents were alive...."

Kira didn't respond.

"I should be dead....dead with them....I shouldn't be alive...."

Kira's hug loosened. She leaned backwards but kept her hands firmly on my shoulders.

"Do not say that, Neon. If you're still alive, it must be for a good reason. God must still want you here. I know me, Kori, Yuki, and even little Akane wants you here."

She got off my bed, sat on hers, and stared at me.

"Go to sleep, Neon. We'll talk more about this in the morning."

"Yeah.....okay." I muttered.

She got into her bed, turned away, and pulled the covers over her.

I laid back down in my bed, shut my eyes, and went to sleep.

When I did get some sleep, I was disrupted multiple times by waking up.
**********
Even with the sun up, I was exhausted when I woke up.

I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to move.

I just wanted to lay there and never get up, but I knew I had to at some point to eat and use the bathroom.

Before I could do anything, Kira walked through the door and sat on my bed.

"It's almost one o'clock, Neon. You've got to get up. Now what was that fuss about last night?"

I didn't bother to get up and just stared at the ceiling.

"Oh, that. I just had a bad dream is all." I said.

"Yeah, some dreams do that. What happened in your dream?"

"Oh...uh....you don't want to know."

"Yes I do. Just tell me, Neon. Please?" Kira said as her expression softened.

"Well, since you asked so nicely...."

So I began to tell her everything, starting with how it opened.

"It opened with me staring at a casket, but I was dead and I was a ghost. When I looked around, I saw you, Himeko, Kori, Yuki, and even Akane gathered around my casket." I said.

"....That's a really sad dream and one I definitely don't want to have." Kira said after a few seconds.

I just nodded.

"Yeah, and then I got all of your reactions one by one."

"Whaddaya mean?"

"I mean I floated up to all of you and managed to see how you'd react. It wasn't a good thing to see at all, especially since Akane was there..." I said as I stared at my white bedsheet.

"...Oh....I see..." Kira muttered.

"I'm trying so hard to hold on, but I don't know, Kira.....I don't know how much longer I can hold on."

"That sounds similar to what you said last night, Neon. Are you still having those dreams about the tightrope?" Kira asked.

"Yeah, and they get worse every time I have one of those dreams."

"How?"

"Everything gets foggier, the darkness gets closer, you guys can barely hold onto me anymore, and worst of all, the tightrope gets thinner everytime." I responded.

"Do you think it means something?"

"Yeah. I think it means everything's getting worse. I'm being buried alive even more each and every day and no one can see or even bother to help, but that's because I don't want them to help me." I said.

"Neon, that sounds awful, but you need to tell me, Yuki, Kori, and even Mom about this. We can help."

"Sure you can." A sarcastic thought echoed through my head.

I just gave her a small, weak smile as I laid back down on my bed.

But then she tugged my arm, making me sit back up and then she began to lift me off the bed over her shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"I noticed you're losing weight. I'm gonna get you to the kitchen so you can get a snack."

"You should be doing this to Yuki."

"Yeah, well, he's not here."

I sighed, but I let Kira carry me into the kitchen anyway.

She set me down and I found myself staring at the pantry.

I'll admit it; I didn't know what to eat, nor did I really want to eat anything in the first place. Besides, I hadn't noticed any weight loss, so either Kira's really worried or it's just me.

So I just stuck my hand into the pantry and grabbed whatever was closest to what my fingers touched.

When I pulled my hand out, I was staring at a chocolate bar.

I pulled down the wrapping, lifted the chocolate bar to my mouth, and took a bite. I began eating slowly, eyes narrowed as I closed the pantry door.

"Nice to see you finally eating." Kira said.

"It's a chocolate bar."

"Still counts." Kira said with a shrug of her shoulders.

I finished up the chocolate bar and threw the wrapping in the trash.

I walked back to our room and laid down on my bed. I really didn't want to do anything today except stay in bed.

I should be dead.

I really should be dead.

It's only fair to everyone else. To Himeko, to my friends, and even to my parents.

Why did I have to survive that car crash? Why did they have to go and why did I have to be in that hospital?

But on the bright side, Kira stayed in that hospital with me even when we were kids....even overnight in that bed.

And then Kori and Yuki....we met them a few years later, and then we met Akane at Kori's house one morning when we were going to go to school with Kori. That was also how we met his Mother, Ayame Kazumi.

No pun intended. That was how Kira and I met his family.

But all that has faded into old memories. Soon, I'm going to leave this world, and I already know how.

As I glumly laid there on the bed, Kira walked into the room with her eyes glued to her phone.

"Hey, Mom said I could come over to Yuki's house tomorrow. I just thought I should let you know. You'll most likely end up having the house to yourself tomorrow." Kira said, looking up at her phone and towards me.

"When did this happen?"

"I asked Mom yesterday after the movie when you went to our room. You must have been asleep by then."

"Yeah, I guess I was. What time are you going to his house?"

"Around twelve. His house isn't too far from here so I'll just walk there."

I just nodded my head slightly and continued to stare at the ceiling.

"Stay strong, Neon." Said Kira as she sat down on her bed.

"I'm trying."

I really was trying.

But the question is, have I been trying too hard, and how long can I hold on for?

Not long, I'm afraid.

End chapter