lovesick || r. lupin

³⁶kissed

"We kissed," was what Ayla had murmured lowly to Grace in the Slytherins' dorm room. 

Grace froze for a moment as she stood in front of her mirror tying her tie for the day. Her dark, lidded eyes widened, not by much, but slightly. She turned her head to get a better look at Ayla.

"Did I hear that right?" Grace said quietly, as if it were some sort of secret---which it was. Or should have been. Ayla wasn't really familiar with the do's and don'ts in these types of things.

Ayla nodded lightly, repositioning herself on Grace's bed. She bit at her cheek and twiddled with her wand. 

Grace's lips broke into a grin, a rare sight to say the least, dropping her tie to the floor. "You're fucking with me, Ayla! You bloody kissed him! Are you going to count that as your first kiss? Or the other one at the party when you were pissed off your mind? Your first kiss? Second first kiss? First second kiss? Bloody hell-"

"Goodness, Grace, take a breath, you're more excited than I am."

"Well, you're not excited enough!" Grace teased, whipping her arms up dramatically. Ayla supposed she must have picked it up from Sirius but she wasn't going to bring that up.

Grace then furrowed her brows and frowned, walking closer to Ayla. She timidly raised her hand to Ayla's forehead, uncomfortable with the touch but still pressing forward. "Are you sick?"

Ayla frowned and pushed Grace's hand away. "Pardon?"

"Are you sick? You're not nearly as excited as I expected you to be."

Ayla didn't say anything to that, trying to not get stuck in her head about what had happened the night before. She felt sick to her stomach. The reaction Remus had was foreseen but it still felt like a stab to the heart. 

She understood Remus's reasoning for leaving so quickly, so stoically. If she were a werewolf, she'd probably do the same. The self-loathing that was forced from the rest of world probably would have broken her at this point. But, though Ayla knew why, she couldn't help but feel this horrible pity for herself and the outcome of the situation. Was it so bad that she had wanted them to end up going to Hogsmeade together that weekend? Was it so bad that she had pictured it a bit more romantic? Perhaps it was her lack of experience that created those too high of standards.

And not to add onto that, Ayla still had to figure out what to do about the Longbottom's situation, about her mothers horrible letter. She still had to owl her mother back. She still had to prepare herself to deal with going back home for the holidays in a bit over a month. She still had to make sure her dad was doing alright and her mom wasn't being manic. It all was a bit too much at the moment and things she truly wanted to go right deciding to not go right was merely making her lose her patience.

Grace snapped her back to reality. "Why are not as excited? What happened? You're doing that pouty lip thing you always do when you're sad."

Ayla looked up to her friend and opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She shrugged instead. 

Grace stepped back, a deeper frown on her lips. "Don't-" she reenacted Ayla's shrug, "-me. What's going on?"

Finally, Ayla's voice decided to work. "A lots happened," she said weakly.

Grace paused, trying to think of what to say back. She pulled on her left earlobe. "Do you... want to talk about it?" she asked with hesitance in her voice, as if she weren't sure if that were the right thing to say.

Ayla stayed quiet for a moment. "I don't know." Ayla was never good at staying quiet.

Grace didn't say anything to that, she just stood there in front of the blonde with her arms tucked around herself.