lovesick || r. lupin

⁴⁰room of requirement

Ayla sat in her dorm room as she stared blankly at the bare parchment in front of her. She had promised herself for the past week that she would get the letter to her mother finished, yet here she was, still lost for words. 

She didn't know what to say. Many things came to mind; I hate you, Why are you doing this, You're a selfish mum, You're taking innocent lives, I know that Longbottom family's son, Please don't, I miss you. None of it stuck. A drop of ink fell from her quill. Ayla dipped it back in the ink and returned to the position from before. 

Dear Mum, she wrote. Why-, she scribbled the word out. How-, again, the word was scribbled over. She grabbed the parchment and crumbled it up. She bitterly threw it in the trash bin beside her, tears welling up in her eyes. 

Too much was going on. But she couldn't keep pushing this off. She had to respond, it had been weeks since the letter first arrived. 

But class was starting in 15 minutes and Ayla wanted to find any excuse she could to avoid this.

The blonde grabbed a new piece of paper and scribbled out the same first two words.

Dear Mum,

Ayla stared. 

I'm sorry for replying so late. I've been busy.

She paused and studied the words. She swallowed the knot in her throat and wiped at her eyes. She hated this so much.

What a surprise to hear you went on your first mission.

That was an understatement.

School's been going well. My friends are great. 

Ayla pushed her curtain bangs back, trying to ignore the thoughts about Remus surfacing.

Grace is still close as ever. 

Ayla bit at the inside of her cheek as she wrote about her friend, fear tight in her chest. She worried even bringing her up to her mother.

Till the holidays.
Kind Regards, Ayla (and Avi)

She flushed as she read over her farewell. She'd never say that before this. The letter was too brief, too rushed, too dismissive, it wasn't her. Yet she read it over once more and sighed, folding it up and shoving it in an envelope, cringing as she did so. 

She needed it out of her sight as soon as possible.

-----

A low rumble of voices began to escape the Charms classroom as Ayla lifted herself from her seat, grabbing her parchment of notes and scattered quills. She shoved them roughly into her bag as Flitwick collected the materials the students had used that day, his tiny hands filled with flimsy, rusted chalices. 

Ayla tried to rid her brain of her anxious thoughts, yet here she was, her cup still filled with vinegar instead of wine. She couldn't even do a simple charm. 

She huffed and bit the inside of her cheek. She needed to relax. Maybe a few hours of Quidditch could calm her buzzing nerves.

Then there was a click and the classrooms door opened, Remus at the heart, awkwardly shifting his hands in his pockets. Ayla just then noticed she was the only student left in the room. Her palms began to sweat and she felt as if there was a large spotlight set upon her form.

"Professor," Remus acknowledged, nodding his head at Flitwick. Flitwick smiled back and returned to his cleaning. Remus looked over to Ayla cautiously, his shoulders pinched tight. "Can I talk to you, Ayla?"

Ayla's heart dropped to her stomach and she stared blankly at the boy in the doorway. This was it. This was the moment Remus decided they couldn't be friends anymore because of her stupid big mouth and her stupid big emotions.