The Shadow and The Light

Chapter 10

The Darkling

It's been a week since Alina left Louis and I. I've been so worried about her but there's nothing I can do to help her. She wants to do this on her own and I respect that. And I also can't go out.

But on the bright side Louis and I have had some bonding time. Alina wants us to be a family, Louis, her, and I. I want that more than ever. The things I did and said to her in the past were horrible. And no amount of words will ever make up for what happened. But she's......... giving me a second chance. I'm taking it to try and better myself for her.

Louis's been quiet fun though. We play nearly ever second of the day till he feels tired and goes to take a nap. We can't go into the city considering my reputation at the moment. But we make the most of it.

We've grown quite the bond honestly. It was a rough start but we warmed up to each other and now we have an amazing relationship. He's been good for me, the "cleansing" of my soul. The 2nd chance that I got.

It has been a little lonely at times. I think about Alina all the time. Wondering if she's okay or if she's dead. Saints, I hope she's not. For the second time in my life there's someone who makes me feel whole. Real. My first love, died. I hope the same doesn't happened to my second. And maybe my last.

I'm somewhat immortal, but I would give it all up just to have the family Alina wants for us. Everything power that I have I would give up. All I want is to be with her. I want this family with Louis.

It's night right now but I can't fall asleep. I haven't fallen asleep this week. How can I? When she's out there finding someone who could potentially control her mind.

Louis sleeps in the same room as me, and when I can't sleep I look to him. As if he has the answer for me. But instead, I get a feeling of reassurance. That somehow he knows everything is going to be fine and is radiating that energy to me.

I haven't tested him yet. To see if he's Grisha or not. I hope he's not, but there is always a possibility. If he's not Grisha he won't be hunted by the Fjerdans. I don't want him to live in some fear. He should live a happy life, and so should Alina.

I don't deserve a second chance. No one like me does. I ruined a country. I ruined lives. Countless lives. It's all my fault. And I can't do anything to fix what I've done.

I want The Fold to be gone. But, I don't want to hurt the people I love, and the ones who love me. Alina doesn't want to know what happens when she tears down The Fold. But if I don't tell her, I'm afraid she'll hate my ghost. And I don't want to leave Louis alone.

I push that thought away and think of all the good in my life right now. Alina. Louis. Our life, together. It's small, the things I have, but they mean the world to me. And I don't want to jeopardize it.

I've ruined my life once. I can't do it again, while ruining others lives too.
And with that I fall into a deep sleep.

the next morning

I was woken up but Louis jumping on my bed trying to get me awake. He was successful. It seemed pretty early because the sun had barely risen. What was he doing up this early? And what was he waking me up for? I look out the window and see nothing. For precautions I grab Louis and make the room dark. If someone is here, they'll either talk or shoot. I hope they go with the second option.

"Hello?" An eerie voice calls.

Cautiously I call, "Who's there?" For all I know they could want to kill me.

"So your not dead, are you Aleksander?" The same voice says. There's one other person that calls me Aleksander.

"Mother?" I ask.