Love Me or Leave Me- Grey's Anatomy AU- Book 4

Chapter Six

"There's this thing about being a surgeon. Maybe it's pride or maybe it's just about being tough. But a true surgeon never admits they need help unless absolutely necessary. Surgeons don't need to ask for help because they're tougher than that. Surgeons are cowboys. Rough around the edges. Hardcore. At least, that's what they want you to think. Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore. But being hardcore isn't just about being tough- it's about acceptance. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hardcore for once. You don't have to be tough every minute of the day. It's okay to let down your guard. In fact, there are moments when it's the best thing you can possibly do- as long as you choose your moments wisely" 

"somethin' won't always be missing. you won't always feel emptier"

Callie and Beck were sleeping in the living room sleeping on the couch and air mattress while Cristina, Lucy and Meredith were in the bedroom talking. Lucy was staring into space. "I have panic attacks, and I dream, resulting in sleep deprivation", Meredith said. "Did you and Derek ever consider stopping break up sex?" Cristina asked. Meredith gave her a look. "The more available Derek gets, the more I pull away", Meredith mumbled. Cristina noticed Lucy's silence and waved a hand in front of her face. Lucy blinked and looked at her. "Are you okay?" Cristina asked. Lucy forced a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine", she said. Cristina forced a smile but when she turned away she shot Meredith a concerned look.

"Shepherd, you're on my service today", Callie said to Lucy before noticing her far off look. "Are you okay?" "I'm fine", Lucy said. Callie took her over to Jackie and Helena who were clutching a wedding dress. "Shepherd, do you want to examine them?" Callie asked. "No, I'm good, Alex or Holly can do it", Lucy said. Alex looked at her. "Are you okay?" Alex asked. "Can you everyone stop asking me that?" she said. He nodded before him and Holly tried to examine Jackie and Helena but the bloody wedding dress was making it difficult. Mark came over to check out the broken nose. "Can they not just split the prize?" Holly asked. "I offered that 14 hours ago", the judge said. "It's a $100,000 dollar wedding package, and I refuse to split that", Jackie said. George and Kelly came over as they were on Mark's service. "You're bleeding all over the dress", George said. "It's not about the dress!" they all yelled. Holly went to grab a sling for Jackie's dislocated shoulder. Callie took Mark aside. "This is hell, I assigned George to you to keep him away from Holly", she said. Kelly approached them. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, except that I did. I'm just saying, this is an opportunity for torture", she said. "I'm Callie Torres, and you are my new favourite intern", Callie said, smiling.

"I'm Kelly Ripa"

"Your mom is Susan Ripa?! World-class plastic surgeon!"

"That's her"

"Alright, we have a solution", Callie said. "Dr O'Malley can be Jackie's proxy so I can tend to her leg and shoulder". George didn't look amused as he took the dress. "Your job kinda sucks", one of the fiances said. Callie smiled and walked over to Holly who was stifling a laugh. "You feeling good?" she asked. "Much better now", Holly said, smiling.

George held on to the dress. "Hold on", Jackie's fiance said. "They think it's stupid", Helena said. "I'm not one to judge as I've never been married", Mark said. "But George knows all about it". "Congratulations", Helena said. Kelly snorted. "Something wrong, Dr Ripa?" Mark asked, smirking. "Nope, nothing", Kelly said, clearing her throat. He smirked at her. "You're fucking evil", she whispered to him. He chuckled.

Callie, Lucy, Holly and Alex were in the trauma room with Jackie. "You know what, there's too many people in here, I'm gonna leave you guys to it", Lucy said, before walking out. "Lucy!" Alex called, but she ignored him. The three in the room shared a look.

"You have no idea how much stamina it takes to stand in a display window for two days", Jackie said. "It's the hardest thing I've ever done". "You're risking permanent damage", Callie said but Jackie seemed not to hear her. "So, what does your dress look like?" Holly asked. Jackie described it. "Oh, so you're gonna wear your hair down then, to cover the hunchback", Holly said. "Since you're ignoring Dr Torres' advice, your shoulder's gonna be pretty swollen and purple. But your hair will probably cover it". Jackie looked shocked. "How soon can I have the surgery?" Jackie asked. Callie smiled proudly at Holly. "Back in the game", Callie said to her. Holly smiled.

Lucy sat on the on-call room bed, staring into space when Alex walked in. "What is up with you?" he asked. "I don't know. Just not feeling like myself right now. But it's fine, I'll get over it", she replied.

"Are you sure?"

"When I was in the water, it's like the cold shocked me into numbness. It's like all I could remember was the bad things in my life, flashing right before my eyes. I couldn't see you or my friends or surgery. It's like, when it came down to it, it didn't matter, no matter what, I had to stop trying"

Jackie woke up. "Did I win?" she asked. Callie looked at Holly. "Your surgery went well", she said. "Who won?" Jackie asked again.

"Helena collapsed and is in surgery"

"I won! Where's the judge?"

"Why can't you realize that you shouldn't fight this hard for a wedding?! You should fight this hard for a marriage and sometimes, even that is a lost cause! Sometimes, you have to let go. Jackie, let go already"

"Did I win?"

Alex waited outside the hospital for Lucy. She came out and approached him. "Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked. She engulfed him in a hug. She pulled away, leaving her arms around his neck. "I don't wanna talk, not tonight. Okay?" she said. He nodded and she kissed him.

Holly turned the key in the lock and opened the door. She stared at the interior of her new apartment. She took a deep breath and walked through the door.

hope you enjoyed! comment your opinions! song is future by paramore