𝖓𝖊𝖜 𝖌𝖎𝖗𝖑

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January 13th 2018

**LORENA'S POV**

" babe come on, I really need to get insta pictures, it's been 2 days" Maye said while jumping on my back trying to make me get up. "Ugh Maye have someone else take you please I was at the studio till 2 am I'm beyond tired, love" I said trying to roll over and look her in her eyes while i told her this. As I turn and finally look at her she rolls her eyes climbing out of bed. "No of course you only ever have time for that dam studio and YOUR friends never mine or me oh my gosh sometimes i really wonder why the fuck we're together its like you don't even love me Lorena. Maye said while getting her phone and purse together.

If you can't tell Maye is my girl-friend i guess I mean I never asked her out but we see each other all the time, and go out and hang out and shit. But she's so demanding of things and she can be so annoying at times like this. But in my defense she's good to look at and a good lay. And when she is nice she's the sweetest person you'll ever meet. The only thing i guess you can say is that we're super duper toxic, which is not good for my mental health but i act like it's fine.

"My gosh Maye my project has a deadline, you know this." I said while rolling my eyes getting out of bed. "Yeah that's what you keep saying but you wont even let me hear a song so how do i even know that you're actually working on a project.Shit you won't even tell me what you're working on for fucks sake Lorena." Maye yelled at me while she was trying to unzip her favorite boots.

For one I can't show her the songs because they are deadass all about Calum and I know she would absolutely flip out on me and I truly don't want that headache. Also because last time I did she posted a clip without my permission and that just pissed me off, so i stopped showing her. Not to mention she had leaked whole songs from other people who she's dated before. I know that i shouldn't judge her based on what she used to do because she promised me that she would never do it again but if I've learned anything from being in LA and relationships here is that you can't trust anyone. If I ever trusted anyone here it was Calum and Michael but knowing that those ships have sailed I've never felt more alone.

These months that I've sat here and in the studio i felt like i was alone when i had Johnson or Corey with me every day. I had also unfortunately started smoking cigarettes again . Something that me and Calum had overcome together but knowing that I had given it up with him pissed me off so I started smoking again. It also didn't help that Maye would smoke like a pack a day.

"There you go again fading away while I'm in the middle of fucking talking to you Lorena I swear its like you don't give a fuck about me" Maye started again. " I'm so over it don't fucking wait up for me i might be back but i doubt it Lorena" She said slamming my bedroom door as she left my house. I know she'll be back tomorrow or in the next two days. She always pulls this shit when I'm too busy for her.

I chose to check my phone and saw it was 10 Am. I had been at the studio with Gilinsky. We were just vibing writing over our recent break ups and smoking some good weed. We had been there since 6 pm that day. We started just talking then slowly the conversations were getting deeper and deeper till we each got good songs. Then for hours following that we were smoking and drinking. Which again led to songwriting for a couple more hours till he drove us home.

I badly wanted to write but she was in bed and I felt bad so I came in and laid down with her. I wanted to write because the night I had with G just reminded me of nights with Calum and some nights with all the boys.

Anyway I'll probably write about that tonight. I just want to go to bed but lord knows I can't now.

**THIRD PERSON POV**

The tan girl hopped out of bed making her way to the bathroom. As she got in there she did her business, washed her face and teeth and walked out, going toward her closet. As she walked in she was faced with the box of clothes that were full of her ex's clothes. "Fuck i keep forgetting that shit.'' Lorena said to no one in particular. She then walked to her bed and grabbed her phone, and looked through her contacts. Her finger was hovering over her good friend Luke's name though she was too scared to go through with it, So she scrolled down and found Crystal's number.

"Come on, Lorena, you can do this, it's just crystal not any of the boys" she was telling herself for reassurance. She clicked on the number it soon started ringing. By the second ring the phone was answered making Lorena tense up.

"Hello" , an Australian accent she knew too well, picked up the phone. "Hello, Lorena, are you there?" Mikey asked while Lorena was frozen on the other side of the phone. She in a quick panic hung up the phone. Tossing onto her bed running to the toilet as she had gotten severely nauseous with that little interaction.

As she was finishing up emptying almost nothing that she had in her stomach she heard the phone ring, she knew that she had to face them sooner or later she walked to the phone. She felt a sense of relief seeing as it was her older brother calling her.

"Hey jc '' she answered with the fakest happy voice she could so she wouldn't get questioned. "Hey Lorena, I was just wondering if you were busy tomorrow night? I've got the craziest idea for a stream and I thought to have you in it cause so many people are asking for you back." her brother said in a happy rush of words. The words he said that people wanted to see her made her feel good but she chose not to dwell on it right now. "I have to see, I might need to go to the studio because the EP is still in process, but I might be able to go in later or something. I'll have to check and let you know curly "she said as she walked downstairs. "Okay let me know by tomorrow morning cause if not you I got to find some else." She nodded as if he could see her. "You've got it now if you'll excuse me I've got bangers to write."

As they said her goodbyes she looked down at her phone seeing that Crystal had indeed messaged her.

Crystalll💜💞

Hey, I'm sorry Mikey answered my phone. I was downstairs. I don't know if you freaked out cause he answered but I'm here for you Lorena that won't change! If you need me you can call me back at any time! xoxo💞

As soon as Lorena read the message she started crying. She couldn't help but feel like she didn't deserve that response from her. Lorena was sure that all the boys and their significant others would stop speaking to her too, but this message proved her wrong. She was too scared to reply so instead she closed her phone as she sat in her kitchen.

She then felt the urge to start writing so she went to her home studio, sparked up a joint and began writing.



























































Authors Note

Hiii I know it's been a while but here's this chapter a lot happened! The next update will hopefully be sooner than this one. A Lot will happen in the next one too sooo....

Xoxo ara💜🤠

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