Immortal Desire || SanHwa / Seonghwa x San

1. Raven's Feather

San stood at the gates again.

Every night San found himself restless, and every night he would walk the streets to find himself in the same place, staring at the same spot with a heavy ache in his chest.

It was the only memory he had as a child. Flickering fire on a funeral pier right behind the gates where he stood now. He could vaguely remember the figure that stood with tears streaming down his face.

Or was it a raven? He couldn't remember.

But every night for the past 20 years San came to the gates, and stared at that spot helpless. Not knowing why he felt pain or longing. Not knowing why he latched onto that one memory from decades ago.

The guards used to try and stop him as a kid, when he first let his legs take him to where they longed. But over the years they gave up, knowing he was harmless.

The guards also gave up asking why he always came here, quick to realise even San didn't know himself, answering them with silence and a deep, confused and pained frown adorning his usual soft features.

The cool breeze whisped his pale blonde hair around his eyes as it always did.

The sun had set, though the sky wasn't black yet, just a dark pale blue with spots of stars glimpsing through the sky.

"You're always here." Startled, a sound between a gasp and a yelp escaped San's chapped lips as a tall figure appeared beside him. Hands deep in his jacket pockets, he also stared at the spot beyond the gates.

"Wh-who are you?" San stuttered, taking a subtle step away from the dark haired man.

The taller smiled softly and looked down at San.

"My name is Yunho." He said softly, kindness in his eyes. "And you are?"

"...San. Choi San." Yunho hummed in acknowledgement. Looking through the gates again.

"How do you know I'm always here?" San asked suspiciously.

"I live there." Yunho pointed to a cottage right next to the palace grounds near the gates. "I'm always picking herbs from my herb garden when you come down here." He explained. San nodded, seemingly accepting his answer.

"I've also heard the guards ask why you come here and you never have an answer...?" Yunho raised an eyebrow at San, while San could only lower his head.

"I don't know why." San said gravely. "Its just...a memory."

"A memory?"

"I have one memory I can't escape." San spoke softly. He questioned if he could trust this stranger, but watching as Yunho looked to the exact spot the pier once was with longing in his eyes, a familiar ache in his facial expression, San felt at ease telling him. "I was a baby, just born according to my mother. My caretaker brought me here to a funeral that happened. Apparently someone really important died, and I remember seeing the fire, and it hurt. It really hurt..." San trailed off, remembering the pain it brought him.

"The fire wasn't what hurt the most though. There was...a person? Or a raven, I can't remember. I just remember them standing there on the steps, crying..." San was sure it was a person, but his memory felt tampered with and he always imagined a raven in its place, with silver eyes that watered the earth.

San looked to Yunho to see familiar tears in his eyes.

"Yunho?" San whispered, breaking the spell the man was in.

"I was there." He said, his voice cracking slightly.

"At the funeral?"

Yunho nodded.

"Who died?" San dared ask.

Thats when the first tear fell. Yunho stared ahead, his breath shaking.

"I-...I can't say his name. I'm sorry." Yunho wiped his tears with his sleeve. "But that mountain-" Yunho turned around and pointed to White Mountain in the distance. "-theres a newer path that goes to the top of White Mountain. But before you reach the top, there's a side path that leads to a small plateau. You'll find answers there..." Yunho looked at that mountain with the same pain in his eyes as he did the pier spot.

"Why there?" San asked softly. Yunho just chuckled and shook his head softly.

"There's a thousand reasons as to why there, but I'm not the right person to tell you them. I'm sorry." Yunho spoke gravely, and those words, that apology, he said as if he'd been saying those words all his life. They flowed off his tongue with practice, but with no less sincerity.

San simply nodded, looking to the mountain.

Maybe, just maybe...