A plan was slowly coming together and when I say slowly I mean weeks! We'd been stuck in the safe house for nearly a month and I was starting to lose my mind. I was so sure Tammy was flirting with me and when it wasn't with me it was with Lou. I wasn't sure if she was just excited about the job or if it was something more, apart from the time I think I nearly kissed her nothing else had happened. I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling when I heard a soft knock on my door, I'd been enjoy my alone time but I could hardly pretend to still be asleep at 10am so I shouted for whoever it was to come in.
"How're you feeling today?" Rose peeped into my room, I'd pretended to have a migraine last night to get out of another pointless meeting. We had set up surveillance in the prison and making sure we had the patterns of the place down before we made the next step. The step that involved me going into prison to visit my mum and try to give her the plan. The problem was we weren't sure how to tell her the plan without blowing all our covers. I really didn't want to visit her either, it wasn't like we'd left things on the best of terms.
"Better... thanks. Did I miss anything?" I sat up on my bed to see her properly as she came into take a seat. Rose was the energy I needed around me today, she was the calm in the storm of people here.
"The usual arguments about who has the best idea... nothing new" she smiled pushing her glasses onto her head. "Tammy and Lou were measuring their dicks"
"Measuring their what?" I had know idea what she was on about and continued to stare at her confused.
"You know showing off, if they were men they'd probably be comparing dicks..." weird phrase but it made sense, they were always trying to one up each other, I'd assumed that was just their friendship. "Odd since you weren't there last night"
My eyes snapped up to Rose from my phone, I'd been in the middle of replying to Lou about breakfast. "what do you mean?"
"Not very with it this morning? They normally save the peacocking for when you're around... didn't you notice?" Rose was soft with her voice but her eyes gave her away, she was looking at me like I was stupid. I thought back to all the lingering touches and cuddles, the play fighting and the tense silences. Just last week Lou, Tammy and I had been watching a film wrapped up together, at the time I thought I was just a cute gang moment. Now I really thought about it I remembered the way Tammy had been holding my thigh or playing with Lou's hair.
"Well...yeah, I guess. I mean I thought they were always like that?" I chewed on my lip, the last thing I wanted was to be stuck in a love triangle. Tammy was my friend, there was no way I could go there- right? Rose shrugged unhelpfully and we sat in a comfortable silence for a while. I let my thoughts run free about the situation. I really liked Lou, I could imagine a future with her. But Tammy? I suppose I could imagine a future with her too! Shit.
"I'll drive you up to the prison if you want?" Rose stood-up as she spoke, always so subtle with her intentions, I knew she was offering me an escape from the house and from the two women that were apparently fighting for my attention. I nodded quietly, I had thought Lou would come with me but honestly I just need a minute to think. "We leave in 20"
I closed the door behind me as I stepped out of the bathroom id only taken a couple of steps before I ran into Tammy, she was wrapped in quite a short towel, I couldn't stop my eyes roaming down her body until they fell to her thighs that were only slightly covered by the material. I quickly ripped my eyes away to meet hers but I couldn't stop the warmth spreading through my cheeks as she gave me a knowing look. She took a step forward and I found myself backing up, I should have just moved to the side but we kept moving until my back was pressed against the bathroom door. She was so close to me I could barely think.
"You heading up to the prison?" She asked sweetly as if there wasn't just a few inches and a towel between me and her naked body. I quietly nodded. "You'll be alright, she's had chance to calm down now" It wasn't the prison that was stressing me out
"Yeah, you're right. Thanks" I couldn't think of anything better to stay as stayed there staring into each others eyes. Tammy began to lean forward, my breath caught in my throat...it felt as if she was about to kiss me. I swallowed hard trying to will myself to move but once again the curiosity on what it would be like to kiss her burned in my mind. Just as her lips felt as though they'd press against mine I heard the bathroom door open. it suddenly dawned on me that she'd just been leaning across me to open the door. I felt my face get hot with embarrassment as I side stepped out of the way to let her through. I was internally cursing myself and getting ready to almost runaway when she spoke again and held my arm before I moved to far away.
"Come tell me how it goes when you're back" her fingers lingered on my upper arm and she gently pulled me back into her space. Her lips gently brushed mine, it was barely a kiss but confusion, panic and relief all washed over me at once. As quickly as it started it was gone and she vanished into the bathroom. My fingers traced over my lips where hers had just been as I stumbled away to find Rose and get out of the house. Cabin fever was making us all do crazy things!
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"So remember, nothing about the plan yet. Just tell her that you'll visit again soon when you've had your new job confirmed." I nodded for the millionth time, I knew the plan but Rose insisted on making me run through it about 10 times on the drive up to the jail holding my mum. Lou had offered to come with us but Rose said it was best to be lowkey and minimise who was seen in and around the prison. I agreed with her mostly because I wanted space, needed space, but really she was right too.
"Yeah I got it Rose" I sighed as I hopped out of the car. I walked quickly towards the entrance with my head down talking to myself about what I was going to say to her. We had a lot to discuss but hopefully she'd let it wait until we had at least broken her out. I was glad of the distraction after the Tammy thing, I didn't even want to call it a kiss, it wasn't a kiss! Her lips had only brushed against mine...the problem was I had wanted it to be a kiss.
Once I'd been signed in and searched I was led into a dingy room where my mum was waiting. Debbie Ocean, as always she managed to look glamorous. I'm not actually sure how she manages it but she looked fresh out of the hair salon.
"Hey you..." she smiled weakly, "you're not who I was expecting"
"Yeah? you got another favourite daughter?" I kept it light, this needed to be drama free. The less attention we got the better. We launched into small talk filled with subtle hints about breakouts, I was giving away more than I was meant to but she needed to know that we were coming, it was just a very slow process.
"I'm starting a new job soon I hope..." I paused for a second to give her a second to catch my meaning, "it's so slow to get going, they've recently lost one of their managers so it's like nobody knows the best approach" she nodded quietly, I knew she understood the nightmare the team were having making a plan without her. On it went until finally our time was up, it had gone pretty fast. I was surprised at how much I'd missed her company, not that I saw her often usually but we tried to stay in touch more than this. She stood to give me a quick hug before I left.
"I'm sorry" she whispered quietly in my ear before she let go of me. I wasn't sure what part of my life she was apologising for but it was the first time I'd ever heard those words come out of her mouth. my eyes filled with tears that I struggled to control...maybe our relationship wasn't so doomed. I trudged back out to the car with my mind swimming. There was so much going on and I felt like I was smack bang in the middle of it all.
