Lacuna [The 100]

Chapter 9

"I don't want this to be our relationship now, mom. I want things to go back to what they used to be!" Then there it was: a tear, rolling down my face.

Was she even touched about what I said? Not at all.
She was there, sitting next to me, not even looking at me.
Eyes focused on the floor.
Face not expressing any emotion.
She was like in a state of trance or something.

"Mom?" I shaked her a little. "Did you hear me?"
She looked at me, up and down. 
I wish I could read her mind, hear her thoughts.

Are you mad at me, mom?
Are you disappointed?
Are you frustrated?
Do you want me to leave?

But I couldn't read her mind.

"Remember when I told that you would never disappoint me, no matter what you do?"

"Yeah."

"Well that still stands. I'm just mad than I never saw you become the person you are now."
She pulled me into a hug and kissed me on the top of my head.

I tell you that was such a relief.
She didn't hate me.

"Did they treat you good, out there? Cause if they didn't, I will have no mercy on those bastards." 

I pulled out of the hug. "Yeah, also the women there were very nice to me. They even taught me a few things, to defend myself." 

"I should've been the one to do that, damn it..." 
She sounded kinda sad about that. Can't blame here.

"Actually, since I'm like half their size, the ladies told me just kick them where the sun doesn't shine, so... you kinda owe me one, mother."
She's warming off, I can tell. I think.

"This is just weird... how do I do this? How do we do this?" 

Mom is gesticulating , a lot.
She does that when she's nervous and the gesticulation is just very exaggerated and awkward.

"Mom relax, it's going to be fine, relax. We're gonna do great, be great. Everything. Is. Gonna. Be. Fine." I sighed.

I was definitely more nervous than her.
I mean, how do you act in situations like this?