Lacuna [The 100]

Chapter 17

Genevieve's POV
Once again, worst parent award goes to me.
I didn't mean to hurt Saoirse's feelings like that, I just wanted to give her what she always has wanted: a father.
And who's a good candidate for that? Blanchard.

Blanchard likes me, he likes my daughter too and he always treated her like family.
It didn't bother him at all to be a father figure to her.
Now that we decided that we should give it a try and be in a relationship together, after a few agreements, it was time to give a father figure to Saoirse.
Blanchard was totally fine with it and Saoirse was fine with it too, until the little joke we did.

It was not one of my smartest decision, I know that but isn't she supposed to be happy that she gets to have a father now?

I realized that I could've told her in a better way about me and Blanchard.
How would I know, how to talk to a teenager?
I didn't even get to be a teenager myself: I was forced to be an adult since I was little.
Raised to be a leader, deprived of her childhood.
I don't know how to handle teenagers.
I don't know what teenagers like.
I don't know what they want.

I knew how to build a bomb from scratch and how to do an open heart operation at a young age.
I never did any of those things, to clarify, but I certainly knew how to do those.

No one taught me about having a child, I'm trying my best but I guess sometimes I decide to act like a damn child and hurt people's feelings. My child's feelings.
And just because you can't see from outside that what I did makes me feel like shit, It doesn't mean I don't have feelings and that I don't care at all.

I remember having a little plant back in the Ark, I got it on my 13th birthday, I cared for it, I took care of it and I feel bad for it now. I told dad to take care of it, he probably didn't listen to me.
Now the plant might be dead.
RIP Noodle, you will be missed. May we meet again.

How do I fix this? The only adult I trust here is Blanchard and he doesn't really know much.

Lately, I discovered that on the other ship, a woman took care of Saoirse. Anisa.
I remember her from farm station, my dad got the plant from her.
Saoirse trusted her so I supposed she could've been trusted.