Domesticated One Shots (A Yoonmin AU)

Someone Save Yoongi

"Jennie, can you please coordinate with Lisa and set up a meeting with CEO Kim and the rest of the producers? I want to discuss the songs that would be included in Seventeen's new album.", Yoongi instructed his secretary on the way to his office after having lunch with Jimin. 

"Okay, Mr. Min. But Mr. Kim is currently working from home so he might be only able to join us online.", Jennie said while writing down notes on her tablet. 

"Namjoon is working from home? Why? What happened? Is he okay? Why wasn't I informed of this?", the CEO inquired, already taking out his phone, ready to call his co-CEO and best friend.

Jennie smiled at her boss.

"He's okay, sir. He and Hoseok-ssi are on a Paternity leave."

Yoongi gaped at his secretary for a moment.

"Paternity leave?! Why? Did Hoseok give birth? When?", the man asked once he recovered.

Despite the utmost respect and slight fear the secretary has for her boss, Jennie couldn't help but giggle at her boss' reaction.

"Mr. Min! Hoseok-ssi doesn't have a uterus!" 

And as if on cue, a distinct sound of a baby's laughter was suddenly heard behind them. Yoongi quickly turned to the source of the sound and found the Kim couple all decked in matching (and ugly in Yoongi's opinion, but he will never tell Hoseok that) bright yellow and blue ensemble. It actually hurts Yoongi's eyes to look at them. Namjoon is sporting a huge grin while carrying a huge baby bag while Hoseok is proudly carrying a disgustingly cute and adorable… gremlin.

Oh, my God! Yoongi thought. Hoseok does have a uterus. 

"Hyung!", Namjoon excitedly called out as the family approached Yoongi and Jennie. The secretary cooed while the producer went catatonic at the sight.

"What the fuck is that thing, Kim Namjoon? Explain yourself.", the red faced producer sputtered as he gawked at the babbling baby in Hoseok’s arms. Yoongi internally shuddered upon seeing the drool of saliva pooling in the baby's bib. Hoseok frowned.

"Yoongi's cursing in front of our daughter, Joonie Appa. Tell him off.", the stylist said in pout. 

Joonie appa?! Again, what the fuck? 

"Hey, no cursing in front of Aera.", the younger producer chided Yoongi with a gentle tap on his shoulder. The older CEO finally got a hold of himself and sighed.

"I'm sorry. You caught me off guard. You cannot just walk inside the company holding a baby without a prior announcement. A heads up would be nice.", Yoongi complained while the couple giggled. 

"It's a surprise! Don't you just love a good surprise?", Hoseok simply said, knowing full well that Yoongi hates any kind of surprise. He then walked towards Yoongi's office after saying goodbye to Jennie.

"Wait, Hoseok. Where are you going with that thing?" 

"This thing is called Kim Aera, our beautiful daughter, and we're going to Uncle Yoongi's office.", the stylist said brightly while Jennie cooed, "Awwww… uncle Yoongi." 

"Come on, Uncle Yoongi. Time for some introduction.", Namjoon patted his back as they all went inside the office totally uninvited and not welcome.  

***

It's not that Yoongi hates children. They just don't like him and the feeling is very much mutual. And he doesn't know what to do with them. Namjoon, his best friend (soon to be ex) of all people, knows this. That's why he feels betrayed that the Kims went ahead and acquired a child without his knowledge (consent).