B Sides FNF Headcanons and Oneshots (Hiatus)

💔 Emotional Disconnect || Marco

Oh? What's this? Angst with one of my least used characters?

Y e a h

Is this a vent? Probably.

Pairing: x Reader
Tw: Attempted self-harm (it's not too serious, but reader contemplates it)

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You were staring at him again. For the tenth time that morning, but you couldn't help it. You'd known Marvo for going on four years. Out of those four years, three of which you'd been plagued by thoughts of spending romantic evenings with him beneath the stars as you got to know each even better.

The thing was, however, you'd recognized the feeling almost as soon as it started. The realization had completely shattered you which had lead to countless nights of crying your eyes out at pain. Something in you already knew you were doomed.

"He's not good enough for you," your friends would say.

"Just get over him, don't cry over somebody like him."

"You'll find someone better."

You knew they were just trying to help, but it never worked. So, you avoided telling just how much it hurt and simply stopped crying around them. How could you give up somebody you'd loved for three years? How could you just snap out of it just like that? It was like the thrill of not being able to have him made him so much more attractive.

Marco was seemingly everything you wanted in a partner. He was nicer to you than most everyone else you knew. Your eyes darted away from the brown haired man the moment he turned his head. Sometimes you quested if this was borderline obsession, but he was beautiful in your eyes.

You could deal with the heartbreak if it meant still being able to be his friend. "Y/N, wanna head out and get lunch with me?" Marco's voice snatched you out of your spiraling thoughts, immediately bringing a smile to your face.

"Sure, when and where do you want to go?" you asked, mentally asking yourself to reign in your smile. Don't do that. Don't let him know. He can't know.

He contemplated for a moment. Msrco decided on a restaurant not too far from his house. You left feeling good about yourself, maybe he was planning to confess to you? Maybe your love would be reciprocated? You allowed yourself to hope just for today. You could do with a little bit of happiness to pull you from your depression.

▬

The clock read 6:40. You should've been excited but here you were, sitting on your couch and staring blankly at the floor. It had started up right before you were getting ready to leave. Your thoughts were loud and spiraling in your head again and it was starting to hurt.

He doesn't love you like you love him.

He's pretending to like you for his own gain.

You should give up. Nobody will ever love you in this way.

There was a knife with a white grip that you found pretty. You bought it because of its beauty. Blue, intricate designs decorated its side and you stared at them as you held the dull side of the blade against your wrist. What if you did it just once? Just to see if it would distract you from-

Why were you in the kitchen? You hurriedly dropped the knife and stared at your shaking hands. What were you doing? If you did that, it would be one more thing to hide and you didn't even have many long sleeves. You were about to be late to the restaurant.

Shaken, you left your house and definitely didn't speed all the way to the restaurant. Marco was walking in when you arrived so you quickly caught up to him.

"Looks like I beat you here," joked Marco, getting a table for the both of you. You laughed, shaking you head at him. You would've been earlier had your thoughts hadn't of crashed down on you before you left. You'd been ready for a whole hour but you couldn't move off the couch.

"Yeah, yeah, you win this time, Horn Hair," you poked fun at the way his hair was styled. The taller demon scoffed at you and and ruffled your hair.

"Is that sore loser I'm hearing?"

"Marco, I will take your knees."

He let you win this round, deciding not to test your knee taking capabilities. The two of you sat down at a table and ordered your food. You ended up having a blast, but when it was time to go you figured you'd shoot yourself in the foot and force yourself to tell him.

The two of you outside of the restaurant having a small smoke break.

"Hey, Marco, I've got something to tell you," you said, praying that he wouldn't up and ghost you over this. He titled his head to let you know he was listening and you prepared to deliver the news. "I...uh... I'm in love with you."

"What?" his expression was incredulous, mouth agape and eyebrows practically in his hairline. You could feel the incoming storm of intrusive thoughts getting ready to crash down upon. He sighed, expression flattening into something akin to weariness. "I'm honored. I really am, but I don't feel the same way."

There it was. The words you knew deep down that you'd hear. There was no coming back from this. "Oh," you said softly, numbness creeping in on you.

Marco put out his cigarette and put his hands in his pockets. "If you're worried I'm gonna ghost you, I won't. We can still be friends but I'm just not the guy you'd be able to settle down with."

"It's fine-"

"Don't give me that "it's fine" bullshit, Y/N, we both know you're not fine," he stopped you. He gave you the stink eye, noting the lie you so boldly tried to tell him.

"Yeah," you said wearily. You needed to go home and lay down...forever.

"Listen, I know it'll be hard, but trust me...I know you'll find someone better in the future."

"Thank you, for not completely shattering me," you said, giving him your best smile. "I'll see you around?"

"You know it."

Unlike many of your friends' experiences, Marco had proved to mature. You left the restaurant, heart weighing heavy in your chest as his words rattled around in your head. He would then prove to be a man of his words, continuing to talk to you and joke around with you. Of course, the talk hadn't taken away the pain you were feeling.

But at least you were still friends. That's what mattered most to you.

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Mega yikes to reader on this one lmao.