Soft Robotics ✧ Bucky Barnes

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I rubbed my thumb against Bucky's dog tags. I couldn't sleep that first night alone in my apartment. I wanted to call Sam. Just for a little, just so he could remind me that I was safe here. It was only 11PM. I didn't think that was too late. But I still didn't want to bother him.

I picked up my phone while I was mid debate with myself, and found a missed call and a text from a number that wasn't saved in my phone.

Steve gave me your new number. Hope that's okay. How are you? Are you able to sleep? I love you.
JBB

It made me feel warm. I wondered if he'd even used his initials like that to remind me of the dog tags. Just like that, I couldn't believe I'd been about to call Sam.

I replied: I can't sleep.

A second later, he called me, and I sat up in bed, staring at the screen, unsure whether I wanted to answer or not. I was nervous. I didn't know what to say to him, and every time we spoke, I got this guilty feeling like I was breaking his heart. But I wanted to talk to him. While I debated, I ran out of time, and the phone stopped ringing.

There was silence for a minute, and then a voicemail notification. I tapped it right away.

I'm sorry, baby, he said. I know I'm being intense. I just love you and I wanna help you. I love you so fucking much. I miss you. I'm here if you need me. Okay. Bye. Love you. Bye.

I texted him again: Thank you

An immediate reply: I love you.

I laid back down and closed my eyes, my phone on the bed next to me, clutched in my hand. I played the voicemail again. Then again. There was something calming about his voice. I pretended he was there next to me, just to test it, just to see if I would like it. I wondered what he smelled like. I wondered what his hands felt like. I wondered what he was doing, right at this moment. I listened over and over until I fell asleep.

;

There was a text from him when I woke up: Morning. I love you.

I called him that time, and he answered sounding breathy and happy and surprised. "Grace!"

It made me smile a little. He loved me. I hadn't known someone loved me when I was with HYDRA. I hadn't really known until he gave me the dog tags last night, but now I could tell. I would've been able to tell he loved me even if he hadn't already said it to me 7 times since I'd first seen him. (Not that I'd been counting or anything.)

"Hi," I said. "Thank you for calling last night. I'm sorry I didn't answer."

"It's fine! You didn't have to. How are you? Did you get to sleep okay?"

"Yeah, I did," I said honestly.

"That's great, doll, that's really great."

"Doll?" I repeated, my face getting hot.