Twice in a Lifetime (Criminal Minds)

Blame

As Reid slowly began to regain consciousness, he also became aware of a few voices around him. The voices were distorted and he couldn't understand anything that was being said, but he recognized the distinct uniqueness of each of the voices. 

He wanted to open his eyes but fatigue kept him from doing so. It took time but the drugs wore off slowly and the voices became more clear.

"Hotch, how are we suppose to tell him." It was Morgan. Who? Him? What did they have to tell him?

"I don't know, he's going to be heartbroken." And there was Hotch. Heartbroken? This is were Reid began to silently panic.

"He'll understand, hopefully. He's going to blame himself though, no matter how many times J.J. says its not his fault." The was Rossi. Why would he blame himself? What isn't his fault? What is wrong with J.J.? Reid fell into full on panic and his eyes flew open.

"What's going on?" He asked quietly but powerfully, the panic heard in his voice.

The three men took the time to look at each other before, Hotch came to sit beside Reid.

"How much of that conversation did you hear?" He asked glumly.

"Everything since Morgan said 'Hotch how are we suppose to tell him'." Reid answered, sitting up despite the pain.

"Reid I will tell you everything, if you promise that you won't blame yourself," Hotch bargained.

All Reid could do was nod, not trusting his voice. Hotch's words made it hard for him to focus. He knew something bad had happened.

"When you were asleep, Henry was kidnapped by our UNSUB, he left a page from Revelations and wrote your name on the top of it in blood." Reid's blood drained from his face. This couldn't be happening, this had to be some sick joke the team had decided to play on him. But he knew it wasn't. Henry was gone and it was all his fault. He was gone and there was nothing Reid could do about it while he was stuck in the hospital. Tears began to gather on his eyelid, threatening to spill over. He needed to find out more, get all the information he could. He was going to find this guy if it was the last thing he did. He wanted to ask all the questions he could think of but all he managed to say was, "How long?" The question was vague but the guys knew what he ment.

"It's been five hours and we have no new leads," Morgan responded.

"You three need to go," Reid told them.

"Reid you still need protection, this guy is after you and could come at anytime," Hotch argued. 

"Now that he has Henry, the team has to be working full force, forget about me, just find him."

"Reid you know we can't do that, you are..." Hotch was cut off before he could finish.

"Hotch, please. Please just go and find Henry. If the UNSUB kidnaps me then he's obviously going to take me to the same place that he has Henry. I just want to know if he's okay, and if that's what it takes, then..." He trailed off, not knowing how to finish his sentence.

Hotch took a moment to consider what Reid had said.

"Alright, but there is always going to be a police officer outside your door just to be sure." Reid nodded in satisfaction, as Hotch stood to leave. "Oh and Reid?"

"Yeah?" 

"We'll find him."

"I know you will." Hotch nodded before exiting with Morgan and Rossi.

Reid leaned back into his pillow trying to take in the fact that his Godson had been kidnapped and it was all his fault. He was breaking his promise to Hotch and he knew it but he couldn't help it. The UNSUB was after him, not Henry, so why did he take him? Reid ran the question through his mind time after time again, trying to find a resonable explaination. But only one seemed appropriate. He was physcologically torturing Reid. And it was more painful than getting shot a thousand times over. Knowing that your Godson was kidnapped because of you, it just hurt more then anyone could  ever know.

Reid choked on a sob, he hadn't even realised he had been crying. But once he started he knew he wasn't going to be able to stop. He just sat there, for hours not knowing what was happening to find his Godson. Tears streamed down his face, and he eventually cried himself to sleep, his heart aching for Henry, J.J. and Will, knowing that their pain was far worse than his.

                                                                                          <->

Something had woken him up, but he didn't know what. He stared around in the dark, fighting his fear, trying to catch a glimpse of what had woken him from his very unpleasent sleep. The tears that   had streamed down his face were now dry and the sadness in his eyes had met a new companion.  Fear. The door to his room slowly opened and a dark figure quietly entered. The figure strode over to beside Reid's bed. Reid stiffled a cry knowing that the police officer would not be able to help him. That, that was what had woken him. The dull thud of her small body hitting the floor. 

He saw the face of the figure briefly before it whispered, "Good-night Spencer." And a blunt object collided with the side of his head, causeing an explosion of pain before the darkness followed.